Oscar's silence on the
matter. At any rate the idea got about that I was angry with him, and
Oscar believed it. Nothing could have been further from the truth. What
I had done and proposed was simply in his interest: I expected no
benefit of any kind and therefore could not be cross; but the belief
that I was angry drew this sincere and touching letter from Oscar, which
I think shows him almost as perfectly as that still more beautiful
letter to Robert Ross which I have inserted in Chapter XIX.

From
M. Sebastian Melmoth,
Hotel de la Plage,
Bernavol-sur-Mer,
Dieppe.

June 13, '97

MY DEAR FRANK:

I know you do not like writing letters, but still I think you might have
written me a line in answer, or acknowledgment of my letter[56] to you
from Dieppe. I am thinking of a story to be called "The Silence of Frank
Harris."

I have, however, heard during the last few days that you do not speak of
me in the friendly manner I would like. This distresses me very much.

I am told that you are hurt with me because my letter of thanks to you
was not sufficiently elaborated in expression. This I can hardly credit.
It seems so unworthy of a big strong nature like yours, that knows the
realities of life. I told you I was grateful to you for your kindness to
me. Words, _now_, to me signify things, actualities, real emotions,
realised thoughts. I learnt in prison to be grateful. I used to think
gratitude a burden. Now I know that it is something that makes life
lighter as well as lovelier for one. I am grateful for a thousand
things, from my good friends down to the sun and the sea. But I cannot
say more than that I am grateful. I cannot make phrases about it. For
_me_ to use such a word shows an enormous development in my nature. Two
years ago I did not know the feeling the word denotes. Now I know it,
and I am thankful that I have learnt that much, at any rate, by having
been in prison. But I must say again that I no longer make _roulades_ of
phrases about the deep things I feel. When I write directly to you, I
speak directly: violin variations don't interest me. I am grateful to
you. If that does not content you, then you do not understand, what you
of all men should understand, how sincerity of feeling expresses itself.
But I dare say the story told of you is untrue. It comes from so many
quarters that it probably is.

I am told also that you are hurt[57] because I did not go on the
driving-tour with you. You should un