fection in her eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from one
coxcomb to another in public places, in so languishing a manner, that it
at once lessened her own power, and her beholder's vanity. Twenty drops
of my ink, placed in certain letters on which she attentively looked for
half an hour, have restored her to the true use of her sight; which is,
to guide, and not mislead us. Ever since she took this liquor, which I
call Bickerstaff's Circumspection Water, she looks right forward, and
can bear being looked at for half a day without returning one glance.
This water has a peculiar virtue in it, which makes it the only true
cosmetic or beauty wash in the world: the nature of it is such, that if
you go to a glass, with design to admire your face, it immediately
changes it into downright deformity. If you consult it only to look
with a better countenance upon your friends, it immediately gives an
alacrity to the visage, and new grace to the whole person. There is
indeed a great deal owing to the constitution of the person to whom it
is applied: it is in vain to give it when the patient is in the rage of
the distemper; a bride in her first month, a lady soon after her
husband's being knighted, or any person of either sex who has lately
obtained any new good fortune or preferment, must be prepared some time
before they use it. It has an effect upon others, as well as the
patient, when it is taken in due form. Lady Petulant has by the use of
it cured her husband of jealousy, and Lady Gad her whole neighbourhood
of detraction. The fame of these things, added to my being an old
fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair sex. You would hardly
believe me, when I tell you there is not a man in town so much their
delight as myself. They make no more of visiting me, than going to Madam
d'Epingle's.[337] There were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira (I
assure you women of distinction) who came to see me this morning in
their way to prayers, and being in a very diverting humour as (innocence
always makes people cheerful) they would needs have me, according to the
distinction of "pretty" and "very pretty" fellows, inform them if I
thought either of them had a title to the "very pretty" among those of
their own sex; and if I did, which was the more deserving of the two. To
put them to the trial, "Look ye," said I, "I must not rashly give my
judgment in matters of this importance; pray let me see you dance: I
play upon