[Illustration]

[Illustration: CONTENTS]

_CONTENTS_

Introduction Goop! Goop! Goop!
Window-Smoochers Visiting
A Low Trick Picking and Stealing
When to Go Loyalty
"Ain't" Indolence
Nell the Nibbler The Law of Hospitality
Justice The Flower Hospital
A Puzzle Puppy Goops
Frankness Exaggeration
The Duty of the Strong Noise! Noise! Noise!
Walking with Papa Stealing Rides
Piano Torture Untidy Goops
At Table A Goop Party
How to Eat Soup Inquisitiveness
Baby's Apology Don't Be Good
In the Street Write Right!
Sick Furniture Wet Feet
Borrowed Plumes Dress Quickly!
The Goop Picnic Danger!
Book-Manners The Reason Why
Poor Mother! In Goop Attire
Cheating Impossible

[Illustration]

[Illustration: Introduction]

_INTRODUCTION_

Children, although you might expect
My manners to be quite correct
(For since I fancy I can teach,
I ought to practice what I preach),
'Tis true that I have often braved
My mother's wrath, and misbehaved!
And almost every single rule
I broke, before I went to school!
For that is how I learned the way
To teach you etiquette to-day.
So when you chance to take a look
At all the maxims in the book,
You'll see that most of them are true,
I found them out, and so will you,
For if you are as GOOP derided,
You may perhaps reform, as I did!

[Illustration]

[Illustration: Window-Smoochers]

_WINDOW-SMOOCHERS_

Little Goops are marking
On the window pane;
I forbid, in vain!
Noses, when they're greasy,
Leave a smooch so easy!
Rub it out again!
I shall have to scold them,
For I've often told them,
Kindly, to refrain!

[Illustration]

[Illustration: A Low Trick]

_A LOW TRICK_

The meanest trick I ever knew
Was one I know _you_ never do.
I saw a Goop once try to do it,
And there w