k it is
much more worth my regard to live now than ever it was before. This gives
a tone to one's nerves, a zest to one's appetite, and a reality to
existence that pervades all nature and exhibits its effects in every word
and action.

Among the heroes whose names shall be inscribed upon the broad base of
American Independence and Glory, the names of the heroes of Lake Erie and
Lake Champlain will be recognized as brilliant and every way worthy; and
it will hereafter be said that the example and exertions of New York have
saved the nation.... What becomes of Massachusetts now and its sage
politicians? Oh! shut the picture; I cannot bear the contrast. Like a
dead carcass she hangs upon the living spirit which animates the heart,
and she impedes its motions. Her consequence is gone, and I am sorry for
it, because I have been accustomed to admire the noble spirit she once
displayed, and the virtues which adorned her brighter days....

We sail on Sunday or Monday. I have received the box. Everything is
right. Heaven bless you.

Going back a few days in point of time, the following letter was written
to his parents:--

BRISTOL, October 11, 1814.

Your letters to the 31st of August have been received, and I have again
to express to you my thanks for the sacrifices you are making for me. One
day I hope it will be in my power to repay you for the many acts of
indulgence to me....

Your last letters mention nothing about my going to France. I perceive
you have got my letters requesting leave, but you are altogether silent
on the subject. Everything is in favor of my going, my improvement, my
expenses, and, last though not least, _the state of my feelings_. I shall
be ruined in my feelings if I stay longer in England. I cannot endure the
continued and daily insults to my feelings as an American. But on this
head I promised not to write anything more; still allow me to say but a
few words--On second thoughts, however, I will refer you entirely to Dr.
Romeyn. If it is possible, as you value my comfort, see him as speedily
as possible. He will give you my sentiments exactly, and I fully trust
that, after you have heard him converse for a short time, you will
completely liberate me from the imputation of error....

Mr. Bromfield [the merchant through whom he received his allowance]
thinks I had better wait until I receive positive leave from you to go to
France. Do write me soon and do give me leave. I long to bury myself in