the instructing your
daughter: she has so much company at home, she will not need seeking it
abroad, and will more readily take the notions you think fit to give her.
As you were alone in my family, it would have been thought a great
cruelty to suffer you no companions of your own age, especially having
so many near relations, and I do not wonder their opinions influenced
yours. I was not sorry to see you not determined on a single life,
knowing it was not your father's intention, and contented myself with
endeavouring to make your home so easy that you might not be in haste to
leave it."

Lady Mary's views on the education of children were well in advance of
her day. They were certainly not the stereotyped opinions current among
governesses or even parents somewhat more enlightened than the rest, and
evidently she had given much consideration to the subject before she put
her thoughts on paper.

"People commonly educate their children as they build their houses,
according to some plan they think beautiful, without considering whether
it is suited to the purposes for which they are designed. Almost all
girls of quality are educated as if they were to be great ladies, which
is often as little to be expected, as an immoderate heat of the sun in
the north of Scotland. You should teach yours to confine their desires
to probabilities, to be as useful as is possible to themselves, and to
think privacy (as it is) the happiest state of life. I do not doubt you
giving them all the instructions necessary to form them to a virtuous
life; but 'tis a fatal mistake to do this without proper restrictions.
Vices are often hid under the name of virtues, and the practice of them
followed by the worst of consequences. Sincerity, friendship, piety,
disinterestedness, and generosity, are all great virtues; but,
without discretion, become criminal. I have seen ladies indulge their
own ill humour by being very rude and impertinent, and think they
deserved approbation by saying I love to speak truth. One of your
acquaintance made a ball the next day after her mother died, to show she
was sincere. I believe your own reflection will furnish you with but too
many examples of the ill effects of the rest of the sentiments I have
mentioned, when too warmly embraced. They are generally recommended to
young people without limits or distinction, and this prejudice hurries
them into great misfortunes, while they are applauding themselves in the
no