ea that I should
be useless. This method of mine would have been well enough, from any
but the moral standpoint, had not Nemesis, taking her stand on that
point, sometimes ordained that a Gaul should be sprung on me. It was not
well with me then. It was downfall and disaster.

Strange, how one will trifle with even the most imminent doom. On being
presented to the Gaul, I always hastened to say that I spoke his or her
language only 'un tout petit peu'--knowing well that this poor spark
of slang would kindle within the breast of M. Tel or the bosom of
Mme. Chose hopes that must so quickly be quenched in the puddle of my
incompetence. I offer no excuse for so foolish a proceeding. I do but
say it is characteristic of all who are duffers at speaking a foreign
tongue. Great is the pride they all take in airing some little bit of
idiom. I recall, among many other pathetic exemplifiers of the foible,
an elderly and rather eminent Greek, who, when I was introduced to him,
said 'I am jolly glad to meet you, Sir!' and, having said that, had
nothing whatever else to say, and was moreover unable to grasp the
meaning of anything said by me, though I said the simplest things, and
said them very slowly and clearly. It is to my credit that in speaking
English to a foreigner I do always try to be helpful. I bear witness
against Mme. Chose and M. Tel that for me they have never made a like
effort in their French. It is said that French people do not really
speak faster than we, and that their seeming to do so is merely because
of their lighter stress on syllables. If this is true, I wish that for
my sake they would stress their syllables a little more heavily. By
their omission of this kindness I am so often baffled as to their
meaning. To be shamed as a talker is bad enough; it is even worse to be
shamed in the humble refuge of listener. To listen and from time to time
murmur 'C'est vrai' may seem safe enough; yet there is danger even here.
I wish I could forget a certain luncheon in the course of which Mme.
Chose (that brilliant woman) leaned suddenly across the table to me,
and, with great animation, amidst a general hush, launched at me a
particularly swift flight of winged words. With pensively narrowed eyes,
I uttered my formula when she ceased. This formula she repeated, in a
tone even more pensive than mine. 'Mais je ne le connais pas,' she then
loudly exclaimed. 'Je ne connais pas meme le nom. Dites-moi de ce jeune
homme.' She