s the answer. "This guy comes in--"

"Arrest that man, officer," Watson repeated.

"G'wan! Beat it!" said Patsy.

"Beat it!" added the policeman. "If you don't, I'll pull you in."

"Not unless you arrest that man. He has committed a violent and
unprovoked assault on me."

"Is it so, Patsy?" was the officer's query.

"Nah. Lemme tell you, Charley, an' I got the witnesses to prove it, so
help me God. I was settin' in me kitchen eatin' a bowl of soup, when
this guy comes in an' gets gay wid me. I never seen him in me born days
before. He was drunk--"

"Look at me, officer," protested the indignant sociologist. "Am I
drunk?"

The officer looked at him with sullen, menacing eyes and nodded to Patsy
to continue.

"This guy gets gay wid me. 'I'm Tim McGrath,' says he, 'an' I can do the
like to you,' says he. 'Put up yer hands.' I smiles, an' wid that, biff
biff, he lands me twice an' spills me soup. Look at me eye. I'm fair
murdered."

"What are you going to do, officer?" Watson demanded.

"Go on, beat it," was the answer, "or I'll pull you sure."

The civic righteousness of Carter Watson flamed up.

"Mr. Officer, I protest--"

But at that moment the policeman grabbed his arm with a savage jerk that
nearly overthrew him.

"Come on, you're pulled."

"Arrest him, too," Watson demanded.

"Nix on that play," was the reply.

"What did you assault him for, him a peacefully eatin' his soup?"

II

Carter Watson was genuinely angry. Not only had he been wantonly
assaulted, badly battered, and arrested, but the morning papers without
exception came out with lurid accounts of his drunken brawl with the
proprietor of the notorious Vendome. Not one accurate or truthful line
was published. Patsy Horan and his satellites described the battle in
detail. The one incontestable thing was that Carter Watson had been
drunk. Thrice he had been thrown out of the place and into the gutter,
and thrice he had come back, breathing blood and fire and announcing
that he was going to clean out the place. "EMINENT SOCIOLOGIST JAGGED
AND JUGGED," was the first head-line he read, on the front page,
accompanied by a large portrait of himself. Other headlines were:
"CARTER WATSON ASPIRED TO CHAMPIONSHIP HONORS"; "CARTER WATSON GETS
HIS"; "NOTED SOCIOLOGIST ATTEMPTS TO CLEAN OUT A TENDERLOIN CAFE"; and
"CARTER WATSON KNOCKED OUT BY PATSY HORAN IN THREE ROUNDS."

At the police court, next morning, under bail, appeared Carter Watson
to