'Having said this, in order to shake his growing reputation, I retired
in deep cogitation how I might get at the secrets of the infidel, and
particularly inquire into the nature of his prescription, which has
performed such miracles; and you are come most opportunely to my
assistance. You must immediately become acquainted with him; and I shall
leave it to your address to pick his brain and worm his knowledge out of
him; but as I wish to procure a specimen of the very medicine which he
administered to the grand vizier, being obliged to give an account of it
to-morrow to the Shah, you must begin your services to me by eating much
of lettuce and raw cucumbers, and of making yourself as sick to the full
as his highness the vizier. You may then apply to the Frank, who will,
doubtless, give you a duplicate of the celebrated pill, which you will
deliver over to me.'

'But,' said I, who had rather taken fright at this extraordinary
proposal, 'how shall I present myself before a man whom I do not know?
besides, such marvellous stories are related of the Europeans, that
I should be puzzled in what manner to behave: pray give me some
instructions how to act.'

'Their manners and customs are totally different to ours, that is true,'
replied Mirza Ahmak, 'and you may form some idea of them, when I tell
you, that instead of shaving their heads, and letting their beards grow,
as we do, they do the very contrary, for not a vestige of hair is to
be seen on their chins, and their hair is as thick on their heads as
if they had made a vow never to cut it off: then they sit on little
platforms, whilst we squat on the ground; they take up their food with
claws made of iron, whilst we use our fingers; they are always walking
about, we keep seated; they wear tight clothes, we loose ones; they
write from left to right, we from right to left; they never pray, we
five times a day; in short, there is no end to what might be related of
them; but most certain it is, that they are the most filthy people on
the earth, for they hold nothing to be unclean; they eat all sorts of
animals, from a pig to a tortoise, without the least scruple, and that
without first cutting their throats; they will dissect a dead body,
without requiring any purification after it, and perform all the brute
functions of their nature, without ever thinking it necessary to go to
the hot bath, or even rubbing themselves with sand after them.'

'And is it true,' said I, 'tha