my
indulgence in the shedding of the blood of animals is confined to an
infrequent personal superintendence of the slaughter of a spring-lamb
in green-pea time, when the scent is in the julep and the bloom is on
the mint; or possibly, now and then, the removal from the pasture to
the pantry of a bit of lowing roast-beef, when I feel an inner craving
for the crackle and the steak.

Racing I have an abhorrence for, and always have had since in my early
days I attended the county-fair at North Ararat, and was there induced
by one of my neighbors to participate as a rider in a twenty-mile
steeplechase between a Discosaurus which I rode, and a Diplodocus in his
possession. I found after the race had started that the animal which had
been assigned to me as a gentleman jockey, had not been broken to the
saddle, and my experience during the next six days in staying on his
back--for he immediately took the bit between his teeth and bolted for
the woods, and was not again got under control for that time--as he
jumped over the various obstacles to his progress, from thank-you-marms
in the highways which were plentiful, to such mountains as the country
for a thousand miles about provided for his delectation, was one of the
most terrific in my life, prolonged as it has been. I had been assured
that the race was to be a "Go-As-You-Please" affair, but I had not been
seated on that horrible creature's back for two minutes before I
discovered that it was a "Go-As-He-Pleased" affair and that
"Going-As-I-Pleased," like the flowers that bloom in the Spring, had
nothing to do with the case. Had I begun in the pursuit of the pleasures
of the track in later years after the invention of wheels, whereby that
easy running vehicle, the sulky, was brought into being, and when, by
the taming of the horse, the latter became a domesticated animal with
sporting proclivities, instead of a mere prowler of the plains, I might
have found the joys of racing more to my taste, although in these later
years of my life when a truly noble pursuit has degenerated into a mere
gambling enterprise, wherein those who can ill afford it squander their
substance in riotous bookmaking, I am inclined to be grateful that my
first experience in this direction has led me to cultivate an
unconcerned aloofness from a pursuit which is ruinous to the old and
corrupting to the young.

Were the present state of literature more hopeful, perhaps I should
find pleasure in reading