When I see how it's done, I
shall able to take _Tartar_ in hand myself, I have no doubt.

_The Prof._ (_instructively_). It is natural For a Horse when
frightened at anything in Front of him, To jump Backwards, and when
frightened at anything Back of him, To jump Forwards. (_Applause, in
recognition of the accuracy and observation of this axiom._) Now I
will show you my method Of correcting this Tendency by means Of
my double Safety Rope and driving Rein, without Cruelty. Always Be
Humane, Never causing any Pain if you Possibly can Help it. Fetch that
Harness. (_The short Groom trips again, but so elaborately as to be
immediately recognised as the funny man of the performance, after
which his awkwardness ceases to entertain. The Professor shouts,
"Woa!" and, as the horse declines to accept this suggestion,
emphasises it by pulling the double rope, which, being attached to
the animals forelegs, promptly brings him on his knees, much to his
surprise and indignation_.) Never use the word "Woa!" Only when
you mean your horse To stop. Woa! (_horse down again, intensely
humiliated_.) If you mean him just To go quiet, say "Steady!" and
teach him The difference Of the words. Never afterwards Deceiving him.
(Paterf. _makes a note of this on Tartar's account._) Steady ...
Woa! (_Same business repeated; horse evidently feeling that he is the
victim of a practical joke, and depressed. Finally, Professor says
"Woa!" without pulling, and horse thinks it better to take the
hint._)

_Paterf._ Wonder where I could get that apparatus--just the thing for
_Tartar_!

_His Daughter_. But you would have to lay down such a lot of sawdust
first. And it might teach him to kneel down whenever you said "Woa!"
you know, and _that_ wouldn't do!

_Paterf._ Um! No. Never thought of that.

_Prof._ I will now introduce To his notice the Bass Drum. (_The two
Grooms dance about the horse, banging a drum and clashing cymbals, at
which he shies consumedly. Gradually he appears to realise that his
lines have fallen among lunatics, and that his wisest policy is to
humour them. He does so, even to the extent of suffering the big drum
to be beaten on his head with patient disgust._)

_The Daughter_. You might try _that_ with _Tartar_, Father. You could
have the dinner-gong, you know.

_Paterf._ (_dubiously_). H'm, I'm not at all sure that it would have
the same effect, my dear.

_Prof._ (_who has vaulted on the horse's back_). I will now make him
fa