slips in the first
round, and falls against the rails, hurting himself so that the old
farmer will not let him go on, much as he wishes to try; and that
imposter, Joe (for he is certainly not the best man) struts and
swaggers about the stage the conquering gamester, though he hasn't had
five minutes' really trying play.

A NEW "OLD GAMESTER."

Joe takes the new hat in his hand, and puts the money in it, and then,
as if a thought strikes him, and he doesn't think his victory quite
acknowledged down below, walks to each face of the stage, and looks
down, shaking the money, and chaffing, as how he'll stake hat and
money and another half sovereign, "agin any gamester as hasn't played
already." Cunning Joe! he thus gets rid of Willum and the shepherd who
is quite fresh again.

No one seems to like the offer, and the umpire is just coming down,
when a queer old hat, something like a doctor of divinity's
shovel,[68] is chucked on the stage, and an elderly quiet man steps
out, who has been watching the play, saying he should like to cross a
stick "wi' the prodigalish young chap."

[68] #Shovel#: a broad-brimmed hat turned up at the sides. It
was formerly much worn by clergymen of the Church of England.

The crowd cheer and begin to chaff Joe, who turns up his nose and
swaggers across to the sticks. "Imp'dent old wos-bird!"[69] says he,
"I'll break the bald head on un to the truth."

[69] #Wos-bird#: a bird that steals corn.

The old boy is very bald, certainly, and the blood will show fast
enough if you touch him, Joe.

JOE OUT OF LUCK.

He takes off his long-flapped coat, and stands up in a long-flapped
waistcoat, which Sir Roger de Coverley[70] might have worn when it was
new, picks out a stick, and is ready for Master Joe, who loses no
time, but begins his old game, whack, whack, whack, trying to break
down the old man's guard by sheer strength. But it won't do--he
catches every blow close by the basket: and though he is rather stiff
in his returns, after a minute walks Joe about the stage, and is
clearly a staunch old gamester. Joe now comes in, and making the most
of his height, tries to get over the old man's guard at half stick, by
which he takes a smart blow in the ribs and another on the elbow, and
nothing more. And now he loses wind and begins to puff, and the crowd
laugh: "Cry, 'hold,' Joe--thee's met thy match!" Instead of taking
good advice and getting his wind, Joe loses his temper and