subject of their conversation was suitable to all ages and
countries, to all kinds and conditions of men, for it was politics! A
fine, healthy, flexible subject, so utterly incomprehensible to fuddled
brains that it could be distended, contracted, inflated, elongated, and
twisted to suit any circumstances or states of mind. And such grand
scope too, for difference, or agreement of opinion.
Oh! it was pitiful to see the idiotic expressions of these fallen men as
they sat bound together by a mutual thirst which each abhorred, yet
loved, and which none could shake off. And there was something
outrageously absurd too--yes, it is of no use attempting to shirk the
fact--something intolerably funny in some of the gestures and tones,
with which they discussed the affairs of the nation.
"Hail fellow well met," was the generous tendency of Gunter's soul when
ashore. Accosting the three in gruff off-hand tones with some such
sentiment, he sat down beside them.
"Same to you, pal," said the burglar, with a sinister glance at the
new-comer from under his heavy brows.
"How do? ol' salt!" exclaimed the clerk, who was by far the most tipsy
of the three. "Come 'ere. We'll make you r'free--umpire--to shettle
zish d'shpute. Queshn is, whether it's the dooty of the poor to help
the rish--no, zhat's not it. W-w'ether it's dooty of rish to help the
poor--what's it--by sharin' all they have with 'em or--"
"That's not the question at all," cried Gunter, gruffly--"the question
is, what'll you have to drink!"
"Bravo!" exclaimed the parson, "that _is_ the question!"
"You're a trump!" said the burglar.
"Well," exclaimed the clerk, with a tremendous assumption of
winking-dignity, "ishn't zhat zactly what I was goin' to shay, if you'd
on'y listen. `What'll you 'ave to drink!' jus' so. Now, if you want to
argue it out properly, you'll--"
He was checked and almost floored by a tremendous though facetious slap
on the back from Gunter, who said that they wouldn't argue it out; that
they would drink it out first and argue it out afterwards.
In pursuance of this plan he called the landlord, and, ordering spirits
and water, treated the assembled company all round--including a few
bloated and wretched women, some of whom carried children in their arms.
Whatever of the ludicrous might have struck an observer of the scene,
while listening to the above conversation, it would have been all put to
flight by the sight of these poor
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