o smile for a second
when the orange tiger-striped one purred in his ear. He hadn't worked
up to stroking them yet, but she hoped that would only be a matter of
time; animals were supposed to be good therapy, as well as being fun.
Even the kittens, it seemed, couldn't distract her completely from
Mike's problem. He needed help too badly for her to ignore it long,
especially when he was right there beside her! He'd helped her when
she was hurting; why in God's Name wouldn't he let her help him? She
hadn't planned on saying anything, but--"Mike, you must know I'm
willing--eager!--to do anything in my power for you."
"I do know," he said. "Blast it, Joanie, you can't think I enjoy
feeling this way--afraid of intimacy with any of you!"
"I don't think that at all," she said quietly. "I just wish I could
convince you--you must know you can't contaminate us. You're Sealed,
Shayan can't corrupt you! Sis and I both know it feels that way, but
being victimized doesn't make you any less of a person."
He was silent so long she didn't think he was going to answer, but
eventually he said, "Intellectually, I understand that. It's my
feelings that're the problem."
"Yes, they are." Cortin paused. "Have you considered taking the
advice you gave me once? Offer the hurt to God. You're Sealed to the
Protector, His priest as well as Jeshua's; if you ask, I'm sure one or
both Aspects will help you gladly."
"I've done that, of course. So far it hasn't worked." He glanced at
her, then looked down at the kitten. "Joanie, it's not just what
Shayan did to me. That's most of it, but . . ."
Cortin frowned. "What Ivan was saying about the Protector?"
"Yeah."
"I'm scared of the Empire myself--but if it does produce the Protector,
I'd have to change my opinion." She sighed. "I'm not sure whether I
like the idea or not, but if that's the way it works out, I'll have to
accept the fact. So will you."
Odeon nodded grimly. She was acting Protector, so he couldn't argue
that; if the true Protector came from the Empire, he would have to
accept Him or Her, and by extension, His or Her place of origin.
"Should I start studying the Empire, then, like Ivan did?"
Cortin cocked her head, thoughtful, then she nodded. "It might not be
a bad idea at that. I don't have any cosmic hunches or anything, but
if he's right, we should be prepared."
"Okay. It might actually be interesting."
Cortin smiled. "I'll settle for
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