abhorred.

"Stung to the quick by the harrowing thought that all my prayers,
entreaties, and explanations could never undo her early impressions, and
that all my labours and all my love could never call forth other than a
cold and formal recognition of my claims, I half resolved to leave my
child in ignorance of her birth and never seek to look upon her face,
rather than subject her to the terrible necessity of choosing between
the friend whom she loved and the father from whose crimes she had
learned to shrink with horror and dread. After struggling long with
contending emotions, I resolved to make one effort to see and recognize
you, Gertrude, and at the same time guard myself from discovery. I
trusted to the change which time had wrought in my appearance to conceal
me effectually from all eyes but those which had known me intimately,
and therefore approached Mr. Graham's house without the slightest fear
of betrayal. I found it empty and apparently deserted.

"I now directed my steps to the well-remembered counting-house, and here
learned from the clerk that the whole household, including yourself, had
been passing the winter in Paris, and were at present at a German
watering-place. Without further inquiry I took the steamer to
Liverpool, thence hastened to Baden-Baden--a trifling excursion in the
eyes of a traveller of my experience. Without risking myself in the
presence of my step-father, I took an early opportunity to obtain an
introduction to Mrs. Graham, and, thanks to her unreserved conversation,
learned that Emily and yourself were left in Boston, and were under the
care of Dr. Jeremy.

"On my return voyage, immediately undertaken, I made the acquaintance of
Dr. Gryseworth and his daughter--an acquaintance which proved of great
value in facilitating my intercourse with yourself. Once more arrived in
Boston, Dr. Jeremy's house looked as if closed for the season. A man
making some repairs about the door-step informed me that the family were
absent from town. He was not aware of the direction they had taken, but
the servants were at home and might acquaint me with their route. Upon
this I boldly rung the door-bell. It was answered by Mrs. Ellis, who
nearly twenty years ago had cruelly sounded in my ears the death-knell
of all my hopes in life. I saw that my incognito was secure, as she met
my piercing glance without shrinking or taking flight, as I fully
expected she would do at sight of the ghost of my former