as worse, for he asked questions without
number and when at last I was reduced to silence, lectured me about
shooting. Yes, this callow youth who was at Sandhurst, instructed
me, Allan Quatermain, how to kill elephants, he who had never seen an
elephant except when he fed it with buns at the Zoo. At last Mr. Smith,
who to Scroope's great amusement had taken the end of the table and
assumed the position of host, gave the signal to move and we adjourned
to the drawing-room.

I don't know what had happened but there we found the atmosphere
distinctly stormy. The ample Mrs. Smith sat in a chair fanning herself,
which caused the barbaric ornaments she wore to clank upon her fat arm.
Upon either side of her, pale and indeterminate, stood Polly and Dolly
each pretending to read a book. Somehow the three of them reminded me of
a coat-of-arms seen in a nightmare, British Matron _sejant_ with Modesty
and Virtue as supporters. Opposite, on the other side of the fire and
evidently very angry, stood Lady Ragnall, _regardant_.

"Do I understand you to say, Luna," I heard Mrs. A.-S. ask in resonant
tones as I entered the room, "that you actually played the part of a
heathen goddess among these savages, clad in a transparent bed-robe?"

"Yes, Mrs. Atterby-Smith," replied Lady Ragnall, "and a nightcap of
feathers. I will put it on for you if you won't be shocked. Or perhaps
one of your daughters----"

"Oh!" said both the young ladies together, "please be quiet. Here come
the gentlemen."

After this there was a heavy silence broken only by the stifled giggles
in the background of Mrs. Scroope and the canon's fluffy-headed wife,
who to do her justice had some fun in her. Thank goodness the evening,
or rather that part of it did not last long, since presently Mrs.
Atterby-Smith, after studying me for a long while with a cold eye, rose
majestically and swept off to bed followed by her offspring.

Afterwards I ascertained from Mrs. Scroope that Lady Ragnall had been
amusing herself by taking away my character in every possible manner for
the benefit of her connections, who were left with a general impression
that I was the chief of a native tribe somewhere in Central Africa where
I dwelt in light attire surrounded by the usual accessories. No wonder,
therefore, that Mrs. A.-S. thought it best to remove her "Twin Pets," as
she called them, out of my ravening reach.

Then the Scroopes went away, having arranged for me to lunch with them