old your infernal tongue, will you," and then began to rate the
servants about the luggage.

Well, off they went. Glaring through the door of the bus, Mr. Smith
caught sight of me leaning out of the window, seeing which I waved my
hand to him in adieu. His only reply to this courtesy was to shake
his fist, though whether at me or at the Castle and its inhabitants in
general, I neither know nor care.

When I was quite sure that they had gone and were not coming back again
to find something they had forgotten, I went downstairs and surprised a
conclave between the butler, Moxley, and his satellites, reinforced by
Lady Ragnall's maid and two other female servants.

"Gratuities!" Moxley was exclaiming, which I thought a fine word for
tips, "not a smell of them! His gratuities were--'Damn your eyes, you
fat bottle-washer,' being his name for butler. _My_ eyes, mind you, Ann,
not Alfred's or William's, and that because he had tumbled over his own
rugs. Gentleman! Why, I name him a hog with his litter."

"Hogs don't have litters, Mr. Moxley," observed Ann smartly.

"Well, young woman, if there weren't no hogs, there'd be no litters,
so there! However, he won't root about in this castle no more, for
I happened to catch a word or two of what passed between him and her
Ladyship last night. He said straight out that she was making love to
that little Mr. Quatermain who wanted her money, and probably not for
the first time as they had forgathered in Africa. A gentleman, mind you,
Ann, who although peculiar, I like, and who, the keeper Charles tells
me, is the best shot in the whole world."

"And what did she say to that?" asked Ann.

"What did she say? What didn't she say, that's the question. It was just
as though all the furniture in the room got up and went for them Smiths.
Well, having heard enough, and more than I wanted, I stepped off
with the tray and next minute out they all come and grab the bedroom
candlesticks. That's all and there's her Ladyship's bell. Alfred, don't
stand gaping there but go and light the hot-plates."

So they melted away and I descended from the landing, indignant but
laughing. No wonder that Lady Ragnall lost her temper!

Ten minutes later she arrived in the dining-room, waving a lighted
ribbon that disseminated perfume.

"What on earth are you doing?" I asked.

"Fumigating the house," she said. "It is unnecessary as I don't think
they were infectious, but the ceremony has a moral signifi