t, _have_ borne witness, upon the
witness-stand. There is a laughable instance recorded of a new method of
giving a subscription, which we shall venture to quote in this connection.
Many years ago, a worthy and well-known English nobleman, having become
embarrassed in his circumstances, a subscription was set on foot by his
friends, and a letter, soliciting contributions, was addressed, among
others, to Lord Erskine, who immediately dispatched the following answer:

"MY DEAR SIR JOHN:

"I am enemy to subscriptions of this nature; first, because my own
finances are by no means in a flourishing plight; and secondly, because
pecuniary assistance thus conferred, must be equally painful to the donor
and the receiver. As I feel, however, the sincerest gratitude for your
public services, and regard for your private worth, I have great pleasure
in _subscribing_--[Here the worthy nobleman, big with expectation, turned
over the leaf, and finished the perusal of the note, which terminated as
follows]: in _subscribing_ myself,

"My dear Sir John,

"Yours, very faithfully,

"ERSKINE."

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Very bad spelling is sometimes the best, as in the case of the English
beer-vender, who wrote over his shop-door:

"_Bear_ sold here."

Tom Hood, who saw it, said that it was spelled right, because the fluid he
sold was his own _Bruin_!

Not less ingenious was the device of the quack-doctor, who announced in
his printed handbills that he could instantly cure "the most obstinate
_aguews_;" which orthography proved that he was no conjuror, and did not
attempt to cure them by _a spell_.

-------------------------------------

It was Punch, if we remember rightly, who told the story, some years ago,
of a man who loaned an umbrella to a friend, a tradesman in his street, on
a wet, nasty day. It was not returned, and on _another_ wet, disagreeable
day, he called for it, but found his friend at the door, going out with it
in his hand.

"I've come for my umbrella," exclaimed the loan-_or_.

"Can't help _that_," exclaimed the borrower; "don't you see that I am
going out with it?"

"Well--yes--" replied the lender, astounded at such outrageous impudence;
"yes; but--but--but what am _I_ to do?"

"Do?" replied the other, as he threw up the top, and walked off; "do? do
as _I_ did: _borrow one_!"

One of the best chapters in "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," is