d-mouthed protest over the meagerness of his own supply of food and
the apparent excessiveness which adorned the plate of his associate.
This always ended in a peculiar panegyric on the merits of a person who
had a "stand in" or a "pull" with the officers. When the ravenous Utahn
was handed his cheer the bestower very kindly warned him not to taste or
smell the victuals, as such an act would be attendant with serious
injury to his appetite; so he merely devoured the contents of his plate
with his eyes and passed them on to his gastronomical organs with no
further ceremony.

A small portion of the forward deck was allotted to the batteries to be
used as a messhall, lounging apartment, etc. It was here the
battle-scarred veterans collected at meal times and dispatched their
slender store. As the Pacific is not always so peaceful as its name,
this pleasing task was not at all times accomplished with ease. When on
a boat tipped to an angle of 60 degrees, a Japanese juggler would find
some difficulty in conjuring his body to remain in an upright position
and simultaneously inducing a seething plate of soup to abide in a
placid state; yet the uninitiated volunteers contrived to perform this
daring feat three times a day. The many strange figures which they
described in their endeavors to execute these occult tricks would have
done justice to the most skillful acrobat. Frequently, as the vessel
gave an extra lurch, the insecure warrior proceeded with all possible
speed to the side of the boat and deposited his food and eating utensils
on the surface of the sad sea waves amid the execrations of those whom
he had the good fortune to come in contact with on his hasty trip and
the jibes of his appreciative audience. At this same place the
mendacious batterymen gathered in the warm afternoons to tell sea
serpent legends and fairy stories about some great event which had never
happened in the trenches. When this supply had been exhausted they began
forthwith to dilate upon the virtues of the most famous officers until
those worthies would have been unable to recognize their own characters
had they been confronted with them in their garnished garb. Once in a
very great while an officer strolled down from the aristocratic
atmosphere of the saloon dining hall and watched the feeding of the
enlisted drove with a superior grace. To convince the famished soldiers
that they were getting a redundant quantity of food, he sometimes called
for