same result with a man.

A woman will often hate a man who lavishes money upon her, and will
love the first man who comes along to whom she will owe no gratitude,
simply because the former degrades her by paying for her favours,
whereas the latter enables her to regain her independence and to raise
herself in her own estimation.

A man who marries below his rank in society may be loved by his wife,
not because, but although, he has raised her to his rank. And a man
will seldom love a wife whom he has married for money, because by so
doing he has to a certain extent sold himself, and love never goes
abreast with either feelings of self-degradation or absence of respect
for the other party. This is why mesalliances, as a rule, turn out to
be very unhappy marriages. The best guarantee of happiness in
matrimonial life is the equal footing on which a husband and wife will
go through the years of their association. Neither of them must have a
feeling of owing anything to the other. It must be a partnership into
which each party has brought the same amount of capital.

Gratitude will engender affection, devotion, great friendship, but not
love. Nay, I will go further and risk the following statement: Not only
gratitude does not engender love, but it will stand in its way.

A woman does not love a man because she feels it is her duty to love
him. Love has nothing to do with duty. You cannot help falling in love
any more than you can help becoming gray or bald, and you may fall in
love against all the interests of your life. The more you argue against
love, the more you love. Love has nothing to do with arguing and
reasoning, any more than it has with duty and gratitude. You cannot
command love to come or go, and many a woman has been on her knees
praying that she might love a man to whom she owed a debt of gratitude,
but the prayer has seldom been heard. A woman will remain faithful to a
man out of duty or out of gratitude, but all that will not make her
love him.

No, no; and I will also say that for a man to feel that he has to be
grateful to a woman is injurious to his love for that woman. He so
hates himself for being unable to do for her all he would like to do,
that he curses himself and fails to love her more for all her patience,
for all the devotion she shows to him through the hardships of life. A
man loves a woman all the more for all he can do for her, and so does a
woman a man. This is the natural consequence