is the
produce of British soil--Her ways--Her fads and inconsistency--Her
knowledge of French literature and her judgment thereof.

When an Englishman, speaking of a woman, says, 'She is a thorough
Englishwoman,' that is the greatest compliment he can pay to a
countrywoman of his. It means the embodiment of all that is refined and
delicate in a woman, of all the best domestic virtues, and of a style
of beauty not so piquant, perhaps, as that of the belles of America and
Southern Europe, but the beauty of delicate, regular features, clear
skin, classical, sculptural outlines and an expression of repose, of
modesty, and of healthy simplicity of life. In the eyes of English
people the words 'English' and 'perfect' are synonymous. For once they
are fairly right. I have said it elsewhere: 'When an Englishwoman is
beautiful, she is beyond competition, she is a dream, a perfect angel
of beauty.' When she is ugly--the Lord help her!--she has not a
redeeming feature, not even that intelligent, bright expression which
saves the plainest American woman from hopelessness.

When an Englishman, speaking of a woman, says, 'She is a regular
British matron,' that means the embodiment of all that is ridiculous in
a woman--of all the British fads, social, religious, artistic (or,
rather, inartistic), the everlasting laughing-stock of all the comic
papers in the world. The English people call themselves Britons or
Britishers when they want to make fun of themselves. In their eyes, the
words 'British' and 'ridiculous' are pretty nigh being synonymous,
except when the word 'British' is used as a patriotic adjective. They
say the 'British Empire,' a 'British soldier,' a 'British General,' but
they would not say a 'British bishop.' No, they would say 'English'--it
sounds more sober and respectful to their ears. 'English Society' means
the upper ten, the pick of society. On the other hand, an English
author who had failed to be appreciated by the public might say: 'What
can you expect from the British public?' And he would mean, like in the
song, 'that pig of a public, that ass of a public.'

The British matron is not necessarily old, not even elderly. She is a
product of the soil, not an evolution or a result, and she may be
blooming at thirty.

Cant and inconsistency are the characteristic traits of the British
matron. It is she who writes to the papers to demand of the Town
Councils the exclusion of statues from the public par