on bird was he.
Has it not long been known, the whole world wide,
A wild swan is a prince of faerie,
Who comes in such disguise to choose his bride
From those of humble lot and tame careers,
_Of whom I now require some punctual tears_.

Wherefore, I say, let every scullion-wench
Grieve, nor the dairy-maid from sobs refrain;
The sad postmistress, too, should feel the wrench,
And the lone tweeny of her loss complain;
Let one--let all afflict the listening spheres:
_Deplore, ye maids, his fate with rueful tears_.

It was for these he sought this teeming land,
High on the silvery wings of old romance;
One knows not where; he had bestowed his hand,
But e'en the least had stood an equal chance
Of such fair triumph, o'er her bitter peers
_And the sweet pleasure of their anguished tears_.

O prince of faerie! O stately swan!
And ye, whose hopes are with the might-have-beens,
Curst be the wretch through whom those hopes have gone,
Who blew your magic swain to smithereens;
Let your full-sorrows whelm his stricken ears;
_Lament, ye damsels, nor refuse your tears_.

Dum-dum.

* * * * *

_The Lady's Realm_ on a new film:--

"The cost from first to last amounted to L12,000 ... The entire
cast--an enormous one, numbering eight thousand people ...
visited Rome and the Nile."

This decides us where to spend our holidays. To do Rome and the Nile for
L1 10s. a head is not a chance to be missed.

* * * * *

It has been asked, "Where were the police?" Here is the answer:--

"The six cuts appeared to have been inflicted with the cutting
edge of a chopper, and the seventh with the flat part of the end
of the copper."--_Manchester Guardian._

_Robert (putting his foot through the picture)_: "May as well make a job
of it."

* * * * *

THE LATEST VELASQUITH.

[Illustration: Mr. Punch (_to Mr. Bonar Law_). "DON'T HACK IT ABOUT NOW.
YOU'LL HAVE TWO CHANCES IN THE NEXT SIX YEARS."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Monday, March 9._--When on conclusion of Questions
the PRIME MINISTER rose to move Second Reading of Home Rule Bill, House
presented appearance seen only once or twice in lifetime of a
Parliament. Chamber crowded from floor to topmost bench of