"Thayre uz no nade fur no perade."

And Mayor Hans Von Schwartzenmeyer
Proclaimed, "I'll haf me no bonfier!"

Said Mayor Baptiste Raphael
"No make-a ring-a dat-a bell!"

"By gar!" cried Mayor Jean Crapaud,
"Zis July games vill has to go!"

And Mayor Knud Christofferrssonn
Said, "Djeath to hjjim who fjjres a gjjunn!"

At last, cried Mayor Wun Lung Lee--
"Too muchee hoop-la boberee!"

And so the Yankee holiday,
Of proclamations passed away.

THE YANKEE DUDE'LL DO

BY S.E. KISER

When Cholly swung his golf-stick on the links,
Or knocked the tennis-ball across the net,
With his bangs done up in cunning little kinks--
When he wore the tallest collar he could get,
Oh, it was the fashion then
To impale him on the pen--
To regard him as a being made of putty through and through;
But his racquet's laid away,
He is roughing it to-day,
And heroically proving that the Yankee dude'll do.

When Algy, as some knight of old arrayed,
Was the leading figure at the "fawncy ball,"
We loathed him for the silly part he played,
He was set down as a monkey--that was all!
Oh, we looked upon him then
As unfit to class with men,
As one whose heart was putty, and whose brains were made of glue;
But he's thrown his cane away,
And he grasps a gun to-day,
While the world beholds him, knowing that the Yankee dude'll do.

When Clarence cruised about upon his yacht,
Or drove out with his footman through the park,
His mamma, it was generally thought,
Ought to have him in her keeping after dark!
Oh, we ridiculed him then,
We impaled him on the pen,
We thought he was effeminate, we dubbed him "Sissy," too;
But he nobly marched away,
He is eating pork to-day,
And heroically proving that the Yankee dude'll do.

How they hurled themselves against the angry foe,
In the jungle and the trenches on the hill!
When the word to charge was given, every dude was on the go--
He was there to die, to capture, or to kill!
Oh, he struck his level when
Men were called upon again
To preserve the ancient glory of the old red, white, and blue!
He has thrown his spats away,
He is wearing spurs to-day,
And the world will please take notice that the Yankee du