Minister:

Since receipt of yours of 3/3/'84, I have been utilizing all resources
at my disposal in the matter of the noted scientist D. O. Voronoff,
and availing myself of all sources of information, e.g., spies, secret
agents, disaffected elements of the local population, and including
two UPREA Cabinet Ministers on my payroll. I regret to report that
results of this investigation have been entirely negative. No one here
appears to know anything of the whereabouts of Dr. Voronoff.

At the same time, there is considerable concern in UPREA Government
circles over the disappearances of certain prominent East Asian
scientists, e.g.. Dr. Hong Foo, the nuclear physicist; Dr. Hin
Yang-Woo, the great theoretical mathematician; Dr. Mong Shing, the
electronics expert. I am informed that UPREA Government sources are
attributing these disappearances to us.

I can only say that I am sincerely sorry that this is not the case.

Krylenkoff

_Wu Fung Tung to Vladmir N. Dzhoubinsky:_

21 April, 1984

Estimable Sir:

In accordance with our established policy of free exchange with
friendly Powers of scientific information, permit me to inform your
Government that a new mutated disease-virus has been developed in our
biological laboratories, causing a highly contagious disease similar
in symptoms to bubonic plague, but responding to none of the
treatments for this latter disease. This new virus strain was
accidentally produced in the course of some experiments with
radioactivity.

In spite of the greatest care, it is feared that this virus has spread
beyond the laboratory in which it was developed. We warn you most
urgently of the danger that it may have spread to the UEESR; enclosed
are a list of symptoms, etc.

My Government instructs me to advise your Government that the attitude
of your Government in the Khakum River question is utterly
unacceptable, and will require considerable revision before my
Government can even consider negotiation with your Government on the
subject. Your obedient and respectful servant,

Wu Fung Tung

_From N. Y. Times, May 12, 1984:_

AFGHAN RULER FETED AT

MOSCOW

Ameer sees Red Square Troop Review;

Confers with Premier-President Mouzorgin

_Sing Yat, UPREA Ambassador at Moscow, to Wu Fung Tung:_

26 June, 1984

Venerable and Honored Sir:

I regret humbly that I can learn nothing whatever about the fate of
the learned scholars of science of whom you inquir