t surely realize that
this is a contingency which the Government of the Kingdom of
Afghanistan cannot and will not permit; it would mean nothing short of
the national extinction of the Kingdom of Afghanistan, and the
enslavement of the Afghan people.

Your Excellencies will recall that I discussed this matter most
urgently on the occasions of my visits to your respective capitals of
Moscow and Nanking, and your respective attitudes, on those occasions,
has firmly convinced me that neither of your Excellencies is by nature
capable of adopting a rational or civilized attitude toward this
question. It appears that neither of your Excellencies has any
intention of abandoning your present war of mutual threats and
blackmail until forced to do so by some overt act on the part of one
or the other of your Excellencies' Governments, which would result in
physical war of pan-Asiatic scope and magnitude. I am further
convinced that this deplorable situation arises out of the
megalomaniac ambitions of the Federal Governments of the UEESR and the
UPREA, respectively, and that the different peoples of what you
unblushingly call your "autonomous" republics have no ambitions
except, on a rapidly diminishing order of probability, to live out
their natural span of years in peace. Therefore:

_In the name of ALLAH, the Merciful, the Compassionate: We,
Shere Ali Abdallah, Ameer of Afghanistan, etc., do decree
and command that the political entities known as the Union
of East European Soviet Republics and the United Peoples'
Republics of East Asia respectively are herewith abolished
and dissolved into their constituent autonomous republics,
each one of which shall hereafter enjoy complete sovereignty
within its own borders as is right and proper._

Now, in case either of you gentlemen feel inclined to laugh this off,
let me remind you of the series of mysterious disappearances of some
of the most noted scientists of both the UEESR and the UPREA, and let
me advise your Excellencies that these scientists are now residents
and subjects of the Kingdom of Afghanistan, and are here engaged in
research and development work for my Government. These gentlemen were
not abducted, as you gentlemen seem to believe; they came here of
their own free will, and ask nothing better than to remain here, where
they are treated with dignity and honor, given material
rewards--riches, palaces, harems, retinues of servant