th ten of him was ready and waiting, I would take the
sweet with the bitter, I would. We women must follow our hearts, and why
shouldn't we?"

Then I scolded her dreadfully, asking if she had forgotten that she was
speaking to her mistress, and a married woman; but all the while I knew
that it was myself, not my maid, I was angry with, for she had only been
giving voice to the thoughts that were secretly tormenting me.

I had been in bed about a week when Price came with a letter in her hand
and a look of triumph in her black eyes and said:

"There, my lady! What did I tell you? You've had it all your own way and
now you've driven him off. He has left the hotel and gone to live on his
ship."

This frightened me terribly, and partly for that reason I ordered her
out of the room, telling her she must leave me altogether if she ever
took such liberties again. But I'm sure she saw me, as she was going
through the door, take up Martin's letter, which I had thrown on to the
table, and press it to my lips.

The letter was of no consequence, it was merely to tell me that he was
going down to Tilbury for a few days, to take possession of his old ship
in the name of his company, but it said in a postscript:

"If there's anything I can do for you, pass me the word and I'll come up
like quick-sticks."

"What can I do? What can I do?" I thought. Everything my heart desired
my soul condemned as sinful, and religion had done nothing to liberate
me from the pains of my guilty passion.

All this time my husband and Alma were busy with the gaieties of the
London season, which was then in full swing, with the houses in Mayfair
being ablaze every night, the blinds up and the windows open to cool the
overheated rooms in which men and women could be seen dancing in
closely-packed crowds.

One night, after Alma and my husband had gone to a reception in
Grosvenor Square, I had a sudden attack of heart-strain and had to be
put to bed, whereupon Price, who had realised that I was really ill,
told Hobson, my husband's valet, to go after his master and bring him
back immediately.

"It'll be all as one, but I'll go if you like," said Hobson.

In half an hour he came back with my husband's answer. "Send for a
doctor."

This put Price into a fever of mingled anger and perplexity, and not
knowing what else to do she telegraphed to Martin on his ship, telling
him that I was ill and asking what doctor she ought to call in to see
me.

I