o hundred reporters,
The Right Honourable Gentleman resumed his seat amid loud and
continuous applause, having spoken for two hours and three quarters.
The Public at once declared with unanimity so remarkable that nothing
would well surpass it
That patriotic self-sacrifice was a Priceless National Asset:
No rational person, they said, could fail to be deeply impressed by
the charms
Of that truly august conception, a Nation in Arms:
To become expert in the use of strictly defensive weapons, spear or
sword, Lee-Metford, torpedo, or sabre,
Was a duty--if not for oneself, yet incumbent without any shadow of
doubt on one's neighbour;
Still there were some who might possibly urge that the world was at
peace, and the time was not ripe yet for it,--
Besides the undoubted fact that a patriot who was asked to sacrifice
his Saturday half-holiday might legitimately inquire what he was
likely to get for it;
So on the whole while they recognized quite (what a metre this is, to
be sure!) that the Minister's scheme was replete with attraction,
They decided to wait for a while (what with the danger of encouraging
a spirit of Militarism and a number of other excellent reasons) before
putting his plan into action.
Then the Continental Potentates--and if I venture at all to allude to
them, it is
Only to show how all this Nation-in-Arms business may lead to the most
regrettable extremities:
This part of my poem in short most painful and sad to a lover of peace
is,
And in fact I believe I can deal with it best by a delicate use of the
figure Aposiopesis--
However--the net result was that a time arrived when Consols went down
to nothing at all, caddies in thousands were thrown out of work and
professional footballers docked of their salary,
And several League matches had to be played at a lamentable financial
loss in the absence of the usual gallery!
Then, some time after that (it's really impossible to say what
happened in between) when business at last had resumed its usual
working,
And the nation in general was no longer engaged in painfully realistic
manoeuvres, on the Downs, between Guildford and Dorking,--
Then the public met and resolved like the person whose case is
recorded in fable
That now that the steed had been stolen (or at least suffered from
exposure to the air) it was high time to close th