f he
wanted it he should have it. Veronica would have given any of them
anything they wanted. There was nothing that she had ever wanted that
they had not given to her.

She had wanted to be strong, to be able to run and ride, to play tennis
and cricket and hockey, and Nicky had shown her how. She had wanted
books of her own, and Auntie Frances, and Uncle Anthony and Dorothy and
Michael had given her books, and Nicky had made her a bookcase. Her room
(it was all her own) was full of treasures. She had wanted to learn to
sing and play properly, and Uncle Anthony had given her masters. She had
wanted people to love her music, and they loved it. She had wanted a
big, grown-up sister like Dorothy, and they had given her Dorothy; and
she had wanted a little brother of her own age, and they had given her
John. John had a look of Nicky. His golden white hair was light brown
now; his fine, wide mouth had Nicky's impudence, even when, like
Frances, he kept it shut to smile her unwilling, twitching, mocking
smile. She had wanted a father and mother like Frances and Anthony; and
they had given her themselves.

And she had wanted to live in the same house with Nicky always.

So if Michael wanted her to sing "London Bridge" to him twenty times
over, she would sing it, provided Nicky didn't ask her to do anything
else at the same time. For she wanted to do most for Nicky, always.

And yet she was aware of something else that was not happiness. It was
not a thing you could name or understand, or seize, or see; you were
simply aware of it, as you were aware of ghosts in your room at night.
Like the ghosts, it was not always there; but when it was there
you knew.

It felt sometimes as if Auntie Frances was afraid of her; as if she,
Veronica, was a ghost.

And Veronica said to herself, "She is afraid I am not good. She thinks
I'll worry her. But I shan't."

That was before the holidays. Now that they had come and Nicky was back,
"it" seemed to her something to do with Nicky; and Veronica said to
herself, "She is afraid I'll get in his way and worry him, because he's
older. But I shan't."

As if she had not been taught and trained not to get in older people's
ways and worry them. And as if she wasn't growing older every
minute herself!

"'Build it up with gold so fine--
(_Ride over my Lady Leigh_!)

* * * * *

"'Build it up with stones so strong'"--

She had her back to the do