hat Mistris
_Swift-hand_ & Mistris _Fair-arse_ are tumbling all things
topsie-turvy forsooth to seek and prepare in a readiness all those
things that are most necessary for the Child; but little doth he think
that they do it more to be peeping into every hole and corner, and to
have a full view of all the Child-bed linnen, then out of needfull
assistance? And wo be to the Child-bed woman, if they do but find any
where a Clout, Napkin or Towel, that by chance hath either a hole or a
rent in it: for one or another of them will with grinning and laughing
thrust her finger through it, and then shew it to the rest, taking
also the first opportunity she can lay hold of, when they are a little
at liberty, to make a whole tittle-tattle about it, and very much
admireth the carelessness and negligence of the Child-bed woman; as if
she were a greater wast-all, and worse house-wife than any of them
else when to the contrary, if you should by accident come into any of
their Garrets, when the linnen is just come home from washing you
would oftentimes find it in such a condition, that you might very well
imagine your self to be in Westminster Hall where the Colours that are
Trophies of honour are hung up, one full of holes, another tatter'd &
torn, and a third full of mildew.

Yet notwithstanding all this peeping and snuffling in to every nook
and corner, they finally get the Child swathled: And then to the
great joy of the Father, it must be presented him in state by the
Midwife, with this golden expression, a Proverb not above two hundred
years old, _Father, see there is your Child, God give you much joy
with it, or take it speedily into his bliss._

Uds bud how doth this tickle him! what a new mirth and pleasure is
this again! see him now stand there and look like a Monky with a Cat
in his arms. O what a delicate pretty condition he's now in!

Well Midwife look to't, for this joy hath taken such a tyrannical
possession of his heart, that doubt not but immediately there will be
a good present for you, when he gives it you back again. 'Tis no
wonder, for if it be a Son, he is at least a thousand pound richer
then he was before: though he may look long enough before he'l find a
Bankers Bond in his Chest for the sum.

Now whilest the Child is swadled and drest up, all the other trinkum
trankums are laid aside; and the Table is spread neatly to entertain
the friends, who not alone for novelties sake, but also out of a sweet
tooth'd