a lie from beginning to end, of course. It made me out a
heartless scoundrel. I had been the ruin of the girl--a helpless
innocent; and now, after all these years, wanted to cut her adrift, not
caring what became of her. My defence seemed to Henrietta no defence at
all. The fact that there had been such an episode in my life was quite
sufficient. Everything must be at an end between us, at once and for
ever. She _could_ not live with me, knowing this. No one should learn
the cause; not even her mother; but I must never see her again. And so
I came away, meaning to end my life. It wasn't cowardice that prevented
me; only the thought that _she_ would be mixed up in it, and suffer
more than I had made her already.'

Voice and look constrained Harvey to believe this. He spoke more
sympathetically.

'It's better that it happened before than after.'

'I've tried to think that, but I can't. Afterwards, I could have made
her believe me and forgive me.'

'That seems to me more than doubtful.'

'But why should it have happened at all?' cried Cecil, in the tone of
despairing bitterness. 'Did I deserve it? Haven't I behaved better,
more kindly, than most men would have done? Isn't it just because I was
too good-natured that this has come on me?'

'I myself readily take that view,' answered Rolfe. 'But I can perfectly
understand why Miss Winter doesn't.'

'So can I--so can I,' groaned Cecil. 'It's in her nature. And do you
suppose I haven't cursed myself for deceiving her? The thought has made
me miserable, often enough. I never dreamt she would get to know of it;
but it weighed upon me all the same. Yet who was the cause of it,
really and truly? I'm glad I could keep myself from saying all I
thought. She wouldn't have understood; I should only have looked more
brutal in her eyes. But if she had married me when she might have done!
_There_ was the wrong that led to everything else.'

Harvey nodded and muttered.

'At one and twenty she might have taken her own way. I wasn't a
penniless adventurer. My name is as good as hers. We could have lived
well enough on my income, until I found a way of increasing it, as I
should have done. Girls don't know what they are doing when they make
men wait year after year. No one can tell them. But I begged--I prayed
to her--I said all I dared. It was her cursed father and mother! If I
had had three thousand, instead of three hundred, a year, they would
have rushed her into marriage. No! w