, my waiting-room was crowded with
the flower of the aristocracy and the higher bourgeoisie from nine to
six every day. But the war came; and my patients were ordered to give
up their luxuries. They gave up their doctors, but kept their week-end
hotels, closing every career to me except the career of a waiter.
[He puts his fingers on the teapot to test its temperature, and
automatically takes out his watch with the other hand as if to count the
teapot's pulse.] You are right: the tea is cold: it was made by the wife
of a once fashionable architect. The cake is only half toasted: what can
you expect from a ruined west-end tailor whose attempt to establish a
second-hand business failed last Tuesday week? Have you the heart to
complain to the manager? Have we not suffered enough? Are our miseries
nev---- [the manager enters]. Oh Lord! here he is. [The waiter withdraws
abjectly, taking the tea tray with him.]

THE MANAGER. Pardon, Your Highness; but I have received an urgent
inquiry for rooms from an English family of importance; and I venture
to ask you to let me know how long you intend to honor us with your
presence.

THE PRINCESS [rising anxiously]. Oh! am I in the way?

ERMYNTRUDE [sternly]. Sit down, madam. [The Princess sits down
forlornly. Ermyntrude turns imperiously to the Manager.] Her Highness
will require this room for twenty minutes.

THE MANAGER. Twenty minutes!

ERMYNTRUDE. Yes: it will take fully that time to find a proper apartment
in a respectable hotel.

THE MANAGER. I do not understand.

ERMYNTRUDE. You understand perfectly. How dare you offer Her Highness a
room on the second floor?

THE MANAGER. But I have explained. The first floor is occupied. At
least--

ERMYNTRUDE. Well? at least?

THE MANAGER. It is occupied.

ERMYNTRUDE. Don't you dare tell Her Highness a falsehood. It is not
occupied. You are saving it up for the arrival of the five-fifteen
express, from which you hope to pick up some fat armaments contractor
who will drink all the bad champagne in your cellar at 5 francs a
bottle, and pay twice over for everything because he is in the same
hotel with Her Highness, and can boast of having turned her out of the
best rooms.

THE MANAGER. But Her Highness was so gracious. I did not know that Her
Highness was at all particular.

ERMYNTRUDE. And you take advantage of Her Highness's graciousness. You
impose on her with your stories. You give her a room not fit for a dog.
You send c