the marriage, but only after the most strict and diligent inquiries as
to the character, position, and suitability of temper and disposition
of the persons for whom the marriage contract is being prepared. This
is sometimes done with the knowledge of the interested parties, but
very often they are not consulted. After an engagement is thus made it
cannot be broken off, not even by the young people themselves, even
though he or she may plead that the arrangement was made without his or
her knowledge or consent. The engagement is considered by all parties
as a solemn compact. On the wedding day, in nine cases out of ten, the
bride and bridegroom meet each other for the first time, and yet they
live contentedly, and quite often even happily together. Divorces in
China are exceedingly rare. This is accounted for by the fact that
through the wise control of their parents the children are properly
mated. In saying this I do not wish to be supposed to be advocating
the introduction of the Chinese system into America. I would, however,
point out that the independent and thoughtless way in which the
American young people take on themselves the marriage vow does not as a
rule result in suitable companionships. When a girl falls in love with
a young man she is unable to perceive his shortcomings and vices, and
when, after living together for a few months, she begins to find them
out, it is alas too late. If, previous to her engagement, she had
taken her mother into her confidence, and asked her to use her good
offices to find out the character of the young man whom she favored, a
fatal and unhappy mistake might have been avoided. Without
interfering, in the least, with the liberty or free choice, I should
think it would be a good policy if all young Americans, before
definitely committing themselves to a promise of marriage, would at
least consult their mothers, and ask them to make private and
confidential inquiries as to the disposition, as well as to the moral
and physical fitness of the young man or lady whom they contemplate
marrying. Mothers are naturally concerned about the welfare and
happiness of their offspring, and could be trusted in most cases to
make careful, impartial and conscientious inquiries as to whether the
girl or man was really a worthy and suitable life partner for their
children. If this step were generally taken many an unfortunate union
would be avoided. It was after this fashion that I reaso