not your old pard, Dave Tutt!
An' you hear me, Pete, that idee about Cornwallis givin' up his sword
to Washington dem'nstrates it.'

"'You bet your life it does!' says Bland.

"'But is this yere surrender feasible?' asks Texas. 'Which, at first
blink, it seems some cumbrous to me.'

"'It's as easy as turnin' jack,' declar's Tutt, takin' the play away
from Bland. 'I've seen it done.'

"'As when an' whar?' puts in Cherokee.

"'Thar's a time,' says Tutt--'it's way back--when I sets into a little
poker game over in El Paso, table stakes she is, an' cleans up for
about $10,000. For mebby a week I goes 'round thinkin' that $10,000 is
a million; an' after that I simply _knows_ it is. These yere
onnacheral riches onhinges me to a p'int whar I deecides I'll visit
Chicago an' Noo York, as calk'lated to broaden me.'

"'Noo York!--Chicago!' interrupts the Bug. 'I once deescends upon them
hamlets, an' I encounters this yere strikin' difference. In Chicago
they wouldn't let me spend a dollar, while in Noo York they wouldn't
let anybody else spend one.'

"'It's otherwise with me,' goes on Tutt, 'because for a wind-up I
don't see neither. I'm young then, d' you see, an' affected by yooth
an' wealth I takes to licker, with the result that I goes pervadin' up
an' down the train, insistin' on becomin' person'ly known to the
passengers.'

"'An' nacherally you gets put off,' says Boggs.

"'Not exactly, neither. Only the conductor, assisted by a bevy of
brakemen, lays the thing before me in sech a convincin' shape that I
gets off of my own accord. It seems that to be agree'ble, I proposes
wedlock to a middle-aged schoolmarm, who allows that she sees no
objection except I'm a perfect stranger. She says it ain't been
customary with her much to go weddin' strangers that a-way, but if
I'll get myse'f reg'larly introdooced, an' then give her a day or so
to become used to my looks, she'll go me. It's then the conductor
draws me aside, an' says, "I've a son about your age, my eboolient
young sport, which is why I takes your part. My theery is that if you
sticks aboard this train ontil we reaches Rock Island, you'll never
leave that village a single man."

"'This sobers me,' Tutt continyoos, 'an' I hides in the baggage kyar
ontil we reaches a camp called Sedalia, whar I quietly makes my
escape. I'm that reelieved I gives the cabman $20 to let me drive, an'
then starts in to wake things up. Which I shore wakes 'em! I comes
down the main