tates had called upon him, Squire
Newcome would very probably have felt that he himself was the party who
conferred distinction, and not received it.

Squire Newcome was a widower. His wife, who was as different from
himself as could well be conceived, did not live long after marriage.
She was chilled to death, as it was thought, by the dignified iceberg
of whose establishment she had become a part. She had left, however, a
child, who had now grown to be a boy of twelve. This boy was a thorn
in the side of his father, who had endeavored in vain to mould him
according to his idea of propriety. But Ben was gifted with a spirit of
fun, sometimes running into mischief, which was constantly bursting out
in new directions, in spite of his father's numerous and rather prosy
lectures.

"Han-nah!" again called Squire Newcome, separating the two syllables by
a pause of deliberation, and strongly accenting the last syllable,--a
habit of his with all proper names.

Hannah was the Irish servant of all work, who was just then engaged in
mixing up bread in the room adjoining, which was the kitchen.

Feeling a natural reluctance to appear before her employer with her
hands covered with dough, she hastily washed them. All this, however,
took time, and before she responded to the first summons, the second
"Han-nah!" delivered with a little sharp emphasis, had been uttered.

At length she appeared at the door of the sitting-room.

"Han-nah!" said Squire Newcome, fixing his cold gray eye upon her, "when
you hear my voice a calling you, it is your duty to answer the summons
IMMEJIATELY."

I have endeavored to represent the Squire's pronunciation of the last
word.

"So I would have come IMMEJOUSLY," said Hannah, displaying a most
reprehensible ignorance, "but me hands were all covered with flour."

"That makes no difference," interrupted the Squire. "Flour is an
accidental circumstance."

"What's that?" thought Hannah, opening her eyes in amazement.

"And should not be allowed to interpose an obstacle to an IMMEJIATE
answer to my summons."

"Sir," said Hannah, who guessed at the meaning though she did not
understand the words, "you wouldn't have me dirty the door-handle with
me doughy hands?"

"That could easily be remedied by ablution."

"There ain't any ablution in the house," said the mystified Hannah.

"I mean," Squire Newcome condescended to explain, "the application of
water--in short, washing."

"Shure," said Hann