rument, you can steal up behind your burglar
whilst he is opening your wife's jewel case or bagging your favourite
gold snuff-box; but don't get excited about it, and remember to hit his
head rather on the _sides_ than on the back or front.

Some authorities advocate "life-preservers," but later on I hope to
give my reasons for not caring much about this combination of lead and
cane.

THE SHILLALAH.

In Ireland they were formerly very partial to the use of the shillalah,
and even to this day there is a little bit of fun in this line to be
seen at most of the fairs.

The shillalah proper is about four feet long and is usually made of
blackthorn, oak, ash, or hazel; and it is a great point to get it
uniform in thickness and in weight throughout its entire length. It is
held somewhere about eight inches or so from the centre, and my
countrymen, who are always pretty active on their pins when fighting,
use their left forearms to protect the left side of their heads.

It is extraordinary what a lot of knocking about a sturdy Irishman can
put up with, and what whacks he can receive on the head without any
apparent damage. One cannot help thinking that the Celtic skull must be
thicker than the Saxon. The brains in the former are certainly more
capable than those in the latter of producing brilliant and amusing, if
incorrect, ideas and expressions. The history of the Emerald Isle swarms
with Boyle-Rocheisms as the country itself has long been said to swarm
with absentee landlords.

After a certain fair, where the whisky and the whacks had contended
pretty severely for the first place as regards strength, a certain Paddy
was found lying, as Mrs. Malaprop would say, "in a state of como," in a
ditch hard by the scene of conflict. A friend solicitous, and fearing
the worst, said, "Och, Paddy, what ails ye? Are ye dead?" A feeble voice
replied, "Ochone, no, Jack. I'm not dead, but I'm spacheless."

The length of the shillalah gives it a great advantage over a shorter
stick, for, when held about a third of its length from the end, the
shorter portion serves to guard the right side of the head and the right
forearm. Indeed, the definition of the quarter-staff, given at the
commencement of Chapter II., seems to me to apply far better to the
shillalah, which may in a sense be regarded as the link between the
ordinary walking-stick and the mighty weapon which Robin Hood wielded so
deftly in his combat with Little John.

The u