manity below
them, but you must not go to a theatre and see the characters created
by immortal genius put upon the stage." Why? Well, I can't think of any
reason in the world except "minstrel" is a word of two syllables, and
"theatre" has three.

Let children have some daylight at home if you want to keep them there,
and do not commence at the cradle and shout "Don't!" "Don't!" "Stop!"
That is nearly all that is said to a child from the cradle until he is
twenty-one years old, and when he comes of age other people begin saying
"Don't!" And the church says "Don't?" and the party he belongs to says
"Don't!"

I despise that way of going through this world. Let us have
liberty--just a little. Call me infidel, call me atheist, call me what
you will, I intend so to treat my children, that they can come to my
grave and truthfully say: "He who sleeps here never gave us a moment of
pain. From his lips, now dust, never came to us an unkind word."

People justify all kinds of tyranny towards children upon the ground
that they are totally depraved. At the bottom of ages of cruelty lies
this infamous doctrine of total depravity. Religion contemplates a child
as a living crime--heir to an infinite curse--doomed to eternal fire.

In the olden time, they thought some days were too good for a child to
enjoy himself. When I was a boy Sunday was considered altogether too
holy to be happy in. Sunday used to commence then when the sun went down
on Saturday night. We commenced at that time for the purpose of getting
a good ready, and when the sun fell below the horizon on Saturday
evening, there was a darkness fell upon the house ten thousand times
deeper than that of night. Nobody said a pleasant word; nobody laughed;
nobody smiled; the child that looked the sickest was regarded as the
most pious. That night you could not even crack hickory nuts. If you
were caught chewing gum it was only another evidence of the total
depravity of the human heart. It was an exceedingly solemn night.

Dyspepsia was in the very air you breathed. Everybody looked sad and
mournful. I have noticed all my life that many people think they have
religion when they are troubled with dyspepsia. If there could be found
an absolute specific for that disease, it would be the hardest blow the
church has ever received.

On Sunday morning the solemnity had simply increased. Then we went to
church. The minister was in a pulpit about twenty feet high, with a
little sou