vilest be willing to have the miracle
performed on him! This is the grace of God, and what does it cost
Him to pour out this mighty power through us? For everything has
its price. My Lord! my Lord! we are not worthy of it all.

This I notice, that when He removes this grace, very shortly the
mind goes back to a false, uneven, inharmonious state; so we
become like an instrument all out of tune, and are caused
indescribable sufferings, like a musician whose ears and nerves are
tortured by false notes, whilst his unmusical neighbours feel no pain!
The musician pays a price for the privilege of his great gift; so the
lover of Christ.

Again, there is a price to pay for the immeasurable _joy_ of prayer,
for prayers are not always sweet nor life-giving. The prayers to
Christ are always a refreshment, but prayers to the Father may
suddenly be turned without any previous thought or private intention
into a most awful grief for the abominations of the whole world of
us, a terrible wordless burnt-sacrifice of the soul, of unspeakable
anguish. And high petitioning is a fearful and profound strain upon
the soul and the whole creature.

* * *

We say that we have need of the purification and conversion of the
soul; but rather it is first the conversion of the heart, mind, and will
that we have need of. For this would feel to be the drama of our
life--the human heart, intelligence, and will are the ego of the creature.
Our soul is the visitor within this creature, containing within herself
a pure, holy, and incorruptible sparkle of the Divine, and lies choked
and atrophied in her human house until revived and awakened by
her holy lover; and this awakening is not given to her till the heart
and mind of her human house (or the will and spirit of the creature)
is in a state of regeneration, or condition to go forward towards God.
Which is to say, the creature has been touched by repentance and a
desire for the pure and the holy. For if the soul should be awakened
to an unrepentant creature, this Will and imperishable worm of the
creature (which is of greater coarseness and lustiness than the
delicate and fragile soul) will overcome the soul; and this is not the
goal, neither is the death of the creature the goal, but the lifting up of
the creature into the Divine--this is the goal.

After being awakened, then, in her human house, the soul finds
herself locked in with two most treacherous and soiled companions--the
human heart an