said, he is afraid lest the
talk is about him or he is hurt because he is not taken into the
confidence of the others. If others are invited to take part in something
while he is omitted, he feels slighted and hurt, and can hardly get over
it. I have often heard people make remarks like this: "We shall have to
invite So-and-so, or he will feel hurt." Self-love is a tender plant; it
is easily injured. We may make all sorts of excuses for such
sensitiveness; but if we will clear away these excuses and dig down to the
root of the trouble, we shall find that God has it labeled "self-love."

Another thing that increases sensitiveness is holding a wrong mental
attitude toward others. This attitude manifests itself in a lack of
confidence in the good intent of others. If we are looking for and
expecting slights, ridicule, and like things, it means we take it for
granted that others are holding a wrong attitude toward us. We do not
really believe that they love us and have kindly feelings toward us, or
that they will be just and kind and sympathetic in their actions that
affect us or relate to us. Have you not seen children who, when one would
hurt another and say, "Oh, I did not mean to do it!" the other would
retort, "Yes, you did; you just did it on purpose"? There are many older
persons who are always ready to say, "It was just done on purpose; they
just meant to hurt my feelings!" This is childish, but alas, how many
professed Christians hold such an attitude! This is a sure way to destroy
fellowship and to take the sweetness out of the association with God's
people. It is unjust to our brethren. It is the foe of unity and
spirituality. Were it not for self-love, we would not think of attributing
to others an attitude different from that which we feel that we ourselves
hold toward them.

This self-love crops out in all our relations. It constantly exalts us and
as constantly depreciates our brethren. God's saints are animated with a
spirit of kindness and brotherly affection for each other, and this does
not manifest itself in wounds and slights, and if we are looking for such
manifestations it is because we do not believe that they have Christlike
feelings toward us. God wants us to have more confidence in our brethren
than to be looking for them to misuse us.

If we are looking for slights, we shall see plenty of them--even where none
exist. If we are expecting wounds, we shall receive them even when no one
intends to