I don't care a fig for Dr. P.'s Greek; he shan't smoke here." "My
dear," replied the husband, "he must smoke; he is allowed to do so
everywhere." "Excuse me, Mr. ----, he shall not smoke here; leave it
to me, my dear, I'll manage it." The doctor came; a splendid dinner
ensued; the Grecian was very brilliant. After dinner, the doctor
called for his pipes. "Pipes!" screamed the lady. "Pipes! For what
purpose?" "Why, to smoke, madam!" "Oh! my dear doctor, I can't have
pipes here. You'll spoil my room; my curtains will smell of tobacco
for a week." "Not smoke!" exclaimed the astonished and offended
Grecian. "Why, madam, I have smoked in better houses." "Perhaps so,
sir," replied the lady, with dignity; and she added with firmness, "I
shall be most happy, doctor, to show you the rights (rites?) of
hospitality; but you cannot be allowed to smoke." "Then, madam," said
Dr. Parr, looking at her ample person; "then, madam,--I must say,
madam,--" "Sir, sir, are you going to be rude?" "I must say, madam,"
he continued, "you are the greatest tobacco-stopper in all England."
Of the clergy, Whatley was one of the greatest in intellect, and, as a
smoker was devotedly attached to tobacco; his pipes, when out, served
him for a book-marker. In summer-time he might be seen, of an evening,
sitting on the chains of Stephen's Green, thinking of "that," as the
song says, and of much more, while he was "smoking tobacco." In winter
he walked and smoked, vigorously in both cases, on the Donnybrook
road; or he would be out with his dogs, climbing up the trees to hide
amid the branches a key or a knife, which, after walking some
distance, he would tell the dogs he had lost, and bid them look for it
and bring it to him.

[Illustration: Theory against experience.]

Of many warriors, none have been more devoted to the plant than
Napoleon, Frederick of Prussia and Bluecher the Bold. The following
anecdote of the latter is one of the best of its kind: "As is
well-known, Field-Marshal Bluecher, in addition to his brave young
'fellows' (as he called his horsemen), loved three things above all,
namely, wine, gambling, and a pipe of Tobacco. With his pipe he would
not dispense, and he always took two or three puffs, at least, before
undertaking anything. 'Without Tobacco, I am not worth a farthing,' he
often said. Though so passionately fond of Tobacco, yet old 'Forwards'
was no friend of costly smoking apparatus; and he liked best to smoke
long, Dutch cl