and a 'alf. I 'ung close to the
land along that Greek shore, for if anything should 'appen ther's no
sense 'aving too long a row to the beach in boats.

"Very good. We're rollin' along one morning when the radio man came in
with a message which read: 'PUT INTO NEAREST PORT. U-BOATS.'

"And without ado we puts into a little place down at the 'eel of Italy,
and that night I 'ad a 'ot barth an' a lovely long sleep in my brahss
bed which the missus 'ad given me for Christmas the last time 'ome. And
a great pleasure it was, I say.

"Next mornin' we put to sea again, and next day after comes another
radio, and it says: 'PUT INTO NEAREST PORT. U-BOATS.' And we put into
Malta, and that night again I 'ad another 'ot barth and a fine sleep in
my brahss bed.

"We resume our voyage from Malta, and a two days later I gets another
radio--more U-boats--and I puts into Algiers. Three times in one week
that made with me 'aving me 'ot barth and a fine sleep in me brahss
bed--grand good luck, I say now, and said it then to the mate, adding to
it: 'There's a signal station west of Gibraltar--wouldn't it be delightful
passing that signal station to get the word to put back to Gib and stop
there for another night and I 'ave another 'ot barth and a lovely sleep
in my four-poster bed.' But the mate 'e only says 'e didn't have no brahss
bed aboard ship to sleep in, and he saved his 'ot barths, he did,'til he
got 'ome to enjoy 'em proper.

"Summer-time it was, and I likes to take my little siesta after
lunch--just like the Dons theirselves, y' know--and I'm 'aving me siesta
next day after lunch when something woke me up. There's a shelf of books
on the wall o' my room--chart-books and the like--and when all at once I
see them pilin' down on top of me I say to myself: 'Somethin's 'appened.'
And so it 'ad. The mate 'e sticks 'is 'ead in the door and says: 'We're
torpedoed, sir.'

"'There goes my bonus,' I says, and goes on deck.

"We carried a 3-inch gun in a little 'ouse aft, and there was the mate
firing at the U-boat, which was out of water and maybe two miles away.
It was one of those out-of-date guns the navy would have no more to do
with, and so they passes it on to us. New good guns would probably be
wasted on us, and maybe that's true. None of us aboard ever fired a shot
from the gory weapon till this day. The mate fired two shots at the
U-boat, but 'e don't 'it anything. The U-boat fires two shots at us and
she 'its something. On