hat it was better to humour people afflicted with
hypochondriacism, which was evidently the disease under which my father
laboured, I tried that method. "It appears to me, sir," said I, "that
if we could remove the gas every ten minutes, it would be a very good
plan."

"Yes--but how?" replied he, shaking his head mournfully.

"Why, with a syringe, sir," said I; "which will, if empty, of course
draw out the gas, when inserted into your mouth."

"My dear Peter, you have saved my life," replied my father; "be quick
though, or I shall go up, right through the ceiling." Fortunately,
there was an instrument of that description in the house. I applied it
to his mouth, drew up the piston, and then ejected the air, and
re-applied it. In two minutes he pronounced himself better, and I left
the old nurse hard at work, and my father very considerably pacified. I
returned to my sister, to whom I recounted what had passed; but it was
no source of mirth to us, although had it happened to an indifferent
person, I might have been amused. The idea of leaving her, as I must
soon do--having only a fortnight's leave--to be worried by my father's
unfortunate malady, was very distressing. But we entered into a long
conversation, in which I recounted the adventures that had taken place
since I had left her, and for the time forgot our source of annoyance
and regret. For three days my father insisted upon the old woman
pumping the gas out of his body; after that he again fell into one of
his sound sleeps, which lasted nearly thirty hours.

When he arose, I went again to see him. It was eight o'clock in the
evening, and I entered with a candle. "Take it away--quick, take it
away; put it out carefully."

"Why, what's the matter, sir?"

"Don't come near me, if you love me; don't come near me. Put it out, I
say--put it out."

I obeyed his orders, and then asked him the reason. "Reason!" said he,
now that we were in the dark; "can't you see?"

"No, father; I can see nothing in the dark."

"Well, then, Peter, I'm a magazine, full of gun-powder; the least spark
in the world, and I am blown up. Consider the danger. You surely would
not be the destruction of your father, Peter;" and the poor old
gentleman burst into tears, and wept like a child.

I knew that it was in vain to reason with him. "My dear father," said
I, "on board ship, when there is any danger of this kind, we always
float the magazine. Now, if you were to drin