ire you, sir," said the first lieutenant, "to introduce
this young gentleman into the midshipmen's berth? instead of which you
have introduced him to that disgraceful wife of yours, and have swindled
him out of his property. I order you immediately to return the three
guineas which you received as mess-money, and also that your wife give
back the stockings which she cajoled him out of."

But then I interposed, and told the first lieutenant that the stockings
had been a free gift on my part; and that although I had been very
foolish, yet that I considered that I could not in honour demand them
back again.

"Well, youngster," replied the first lieutenant, "perhaps your ideas are
correct, and if you wish it, I will not enforce that part of my order;
but," continued he to Mr Trotter, "I desire, sir, that your wife leave
the ship immediately and I trust that when I have reported your conduct
to the captain, he will serve you in the same manner. In the meantime,
you will consider yourself under an arrest for drunkenness."

CHAPTER SEVEN.

`SCANDALUM MAGNATUM' CLEARLY PROVED--I PROVE TO THE CAPTAIN THAT I
CONSIDER HIM A GENTLEMAN, ALTHOUGH I HAD TOLD HIM THE CONTRARY, AND I
PROVE TO THE MIDSHIPMEN THAT I AM A GENTLEMAN MYSELF--THEY PROVE THEIR
GRATITUDE BY PRACTISING UPON ME, BECAUSE PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

The captain came on board about twelve o'clock, and ordered the
discharge of Mr Trotter to be made out, as soon as the first lieutenant
had reported what had occurred. He then sent for all the midshipmen on
the quarter-deck.

"Gentlemen," said the captain to them, with a stern countenance, "I feel
very much indebted to some of you for the character which you have been
pleased to give of me to Mr Simple. I must now request that you will
answer a few questions which I am about to put in his presence. Did I
ever flog the whole starboard watch, because the ship would only sail
nine knots on a bowline!"

"No, sir, no!" replied they all, very much frightened.

"Did I ever give a midshipman four dozen for not having his weekly
accounts pipe-clayed; or another five dozen for wearing a scarlet watch
riband?"

"No, sir," replied they all together.

"Did any midshipman ever die on his chest from fatigue?"

They again replied in the negative.

"Then, gentlemen, you will oblige me by stating which of you thought
proper to assert these falsehoods in a public coffee-room; and further,
which of you obliged this you