BISMARCK.

And I am, yours truly,
VON B----.

* * * * *

A CORRESPONDENT signing himself "ONE WHO LIVES AND LEARNS," wishes to
know what is the meaning of the expression, "The Minute Gun at Sea?"
We will tell him. "A Minute Gun" is, of course, a very small one. When
it goes wrong, it is "at sea." No extra charge for this gun.

* * * * *

MEM.--You can't expect much from the Speakers at a Convention, where
the Speeches must be Conventional.

* * * * *

"HARPY THOUGHT!"--Mr. JOHN THOMAS's Grand Harp Concert.

* * * * *

A WILDE IDEA.

OR, MORE INJUSTICE TO IRELAND!

[Illustration]

The licence for the production of his French Play of _Salome_,
accepted by SARAH B., having been refused by the Saxon Licenser of
Plays, The O'SCAR, dreams of becoming a French Citizen, but doesn't
quite "see himself," at the beginning of his career, as a conscript in
the French Army, and so, to adapt the Gilbertian lines, probably--

"In spite of great temptation
To French na-tu-ra-li-sa-tion,
He'll remain an Irishman!"

* * * * *

MY PUGGY!

[A Correspondent writes to the _Standard_ in praise of pugs,
as the most useful household dogs to prevent burglaries.]

Who bears, despite a wrinkled skin,
A heart that's soft and warm within,
And hates a visitor like sin?--
My puggy!

Who has a little temper of
His own, and sports a winter cough,
And thinks himself a mighty toff?--
My puggy!

Whose voice, disturbing midnight rest,
Do wily house-breakers detest,
And move to some less guarded nest?--
My puggy's!

Who does not, like a stupid cat,
'Gainst burglars' boots rub himself flat,--
Soliciting a felon's pat?--
My puggy!

And when the burglar's body's half
Inside the sash, with doggish laugh,
Who masticates his nearest calf?--
My puggy!

Who owns a phiz (which _I_ could hug),
That's called by stupid boys an ug-
ly sulky unattractive "mug?"--
My puggy!

* * * * *

Our old friend, Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM, has been sightseeing in the country.
Being asked whether she had seen the Midgetts, she said, "Don't
mention 'em, my dear! I've seen 'em, and felt 'em--thousands of
'em--they very nearly closed my eyes up."