breath, gently
kissed my forehead, and went out.

* * * * *

A Christmas visit in northern districts generally lasts a couple of
days, often more. But, as my father and the Martinezes had so much to do
and our house was not very far, we were to go home as early as the next
evening, while most of the others were to wait until the following day.

The minister's family, however, were to remain as guests, together with
the "notabilities," to the end of the week. In the meantime, as, early
the next day, the minister and his wife were going to call on a family
in the neighbourhood, Susanna had to stay at the magistrate's house.

I, like the other guests, had not risen until far on in the morning, but
in my brain during all the time Dr. K.'s words about my position being
like that of a leper had throbbed as a boil, growing harder and more
painful with my changing ideas on the subject, until all at once their
meaning stood clear with its whole sting before me.

I loved Susanna a thousand times more than myself, and should I
selfishly wish to unite her fate to a man who was insane, only because
that man was myself? And perhaps my mental condition would grow worse as
time went on.

I began to feel within me a pious courage for self-sacrifice, and with
it came calm, soothing peacefulness. When all was said and done, it was
really the best thing I could think of, to give my life for Susanna, and
this thought at last inspired me with an almost fanatical wish to do so.

My mind was made up; and my plan was the simple one of speaking out
decidedly and clearly to her; for I would not for all the world deceive
her in any way.

It was in the afternoon, in the twilight, while the others were out for
a walk, that I found an opportunity of talking to her alone.

That day Susanna had on a black silk dress which fitted her to
perfection, a lace collar and narrow sleeves with cuffs at the wrists.
Her hair was fastened with a silver arrow as at the ball, but it was her
only ornament.

She sat thoughtfully listening to me in front of the newly-lighted stove
where we had placed ourselves. Every time she bent forward into the
light from the stove door, it fell upon her expressive face, while I, in
my endeavour to be true, told her, possibly with exaggerated colouring,
all about my mental condition, and what Dr. K. had said.

As I talked I saw her face growing paler and more and more serious,
until at las