, the pieces coming
through both floors down into the cellar. One of them tore open the leg of
H.'s pantaloons. This was tangible proof the cellar was no place of
protection from them. On the heels of this came Mr. J., to tell us that
young Mrs. P. had had her thighbone crushed. When Martha went for the milk
she came back horror-stricken to tell us the black girl there had her arm
taken off by a shell. For the first time I quailed. I do not think people
who are physically brave deserve much credit for it; it is a matter of
nerves. In this way I am constitutionally brave, and seldom think of
danger till it is over; and death has not the terrors for me it has for
some others. Every night I had lain down expecting death, and every
morning rose to the same prospect, without being unnerved. It was for H. I
trembled. But now I first seemed to realize that something worse than
death might come; I might be crippled, and not killed. Life, without all
one's powers and limbs, was a thought that broke down my courage. I said
to H., "You must get me out of this horrible place; I cannot stay; I know
I shall be crippled." Now the regret comes that I lost control, for H. is
worried, and has lost his composure, because my coolness has broken down.

_July 1st, 1863._--Some months ago, thinking it might be useful, I
obtained from the consul of my birthplace, by sending to another town, a
passport for foreign parts. H. said if we went out to the lines we might
be permitted to get through on that. So we packed the trunk, got a
carriage, and on the 30th drove out there. General V. offered us seats in
his tent. The rifle-bullets were whizzing so _zip, zip_ from the
sharp-shooters on the Federal lines that involuntarily I moved on my
chair. He said, "Don't be alarmed; you are out of range. They are firing
at our mules yonder." His horse, tied by the tent door, was quivering all
over, the most intense exhibition of fear I'd ever seen in an animal.
General V. sent out a flag of truce to the Federal headquarters, and while
we waited wrote on a piece of silk paper a few words. Then he said, "My
wife is in Tennessee. If you get through the lines, give her this. They
will search you, so I will put it in this toothpick." He crammed the silk
paper into a quill toothpick, and handed it to H. It was completely
concealed. The flag-of-truce officer came back flushed and angry. "General
Grant says that no human being shall pass out of Vicksburg; but the lady