here was pride or ill-humor in my
refusal. They both approved of it without receiving me less politely,
and the secret was so well kept that it was never known to the public.

The proposition did not come in a favorable moment. I had some time
before this formed the project of quitting literature, and especially the
trade of an author. I had been disgusted with men of letters by
everything that had lately befallen me, and had learned from experience
that it was impossible to proceed in the same track without having some
connections with them. I was not much less dissatisfied with men of the
world, and in general with the mixed life I had lately led, half to
myself and half devoted to societies for which I was unfit. I felt more
than ever, and by constant experience, that every unequal association is
disadvantageous to the weaker person. Living with opulent people, and in
a situation different from that I had chosen, without keeping a house as
they did, I was obliged to imitate them in many things; and little
expenses, which were nothing to their fortunes, were for me not less
ruinous than indispensable. Another man in the country-house of a
friend, is served by his own servant, as well at table as in his chamber;
he sends him to seek for everything he wants; having nothing directly to
do with the servants of the house, not even seeing them, he gives them
what he pleases, and when he thinks proper; but I, alone, and without a
servant, was at the mercy of the servants of the house, of whom it was
necessary to gain the good graces, that I might not have much to suffer;
and being treated as the equal of their master, I was obliged to treat
them accordingly, and better than another would have done, because, in
fact, I stood in greater need of their services. This, where there are
but few domestics, may be complied with; but in the houses I frequented
there were a great number, and the knaves so well understood their
interests that they knew how to make me want the services of them all
successively. The women of Paris, who have so much wit, have no just
idea of this inconvenience, and in their zeal to economize my purse they
ruined me. If I supped in town, at any considerable distance from my
lodgings, instead of permitting me to send for a hackney coach, the
mistress of the house ordered her horses to be put to and sent me home in
her carriage. She was very glad to save me the twenty-four sous
(shilling) for the fi