rehearsing an extempore speech, which he proposed to deliver
at St. Stephen's.

"Had I, sir," spouted he, with folded arms, slowly pacing to and
fro--"Had I, sir, entertained the smallest possible intention of
addressing the House on the present occasion--hum, on the present
occasion--I would have endeavoured to prepare myself in a way that
should have at least shown my sense of the greatness of the subject
before the House's consideration, and the nature of the distinguished
audience I have the honour to address. I am, sir, a plain man--born
of the people--myself one of the people, having won, thank Heaven, an
honourable fortune and position by my own honest labour; and standing
here as I do--"

* * *

Here Mr. Scully (it may be said that he never made a speech without
bragging about himself: and an excellent plan it is, for people cannot
help believing you at last)--here, I say, Mr. Scully, who had one arm
raised, felt himself suddenly tipped on the shoulder, and heard a voice
saying, "Your money or your life!"

The honourable gentleman twirled round as if he had been shot; the
papers on which a great part of this impromptu was written dropped from
his lifted hand, and some of them were actually borne on the air into
neighbouring gardens. The man was, in fact, in the direst fright.

"It's only I," said Perkins, with rather a forced laugh, when he saw the
effect that his wit had produced.

"Only you! And pray what the dev--what right have you to--to come upon
a man of my rank in that way, and disturb me in the midst of very
important meditations?" asked Mr. Scully, beginning to grow fierce.

"I want your advice," said Perkins, "on a matter of the very greatest
importance to me. You know my idea of marrying?"

"Marry!" said Scully; "I thought you had given up that silly scheme. And
how, pray, do you intend to live?"

"Why, my intended has a couple of hundreds a year, and my clerkship in
the Tape and Sealing-Wax Office will be as much more."

"Clerkship--Tape and Sealing-Wax Office--Government sinecure!--Why, good
heavens! John Perkins, you don't tell ME that you are going to accept
any such thing?"

"It is a very small salary, certainly," said John, who had a decent
notion of his own merits; "but consider, six months vacation, two hours
in the day, and those spent over the newspapers. After all, it's--"

"After all it's a swindle," roared out Mr. Scully--"a swindle up