at appearance which is thought to be
courage--that is the thing will carry you through! get you made K.C.B.,
Victoria Cross, and all that! Men by help of this quality do the most
heroic actions, being all the time ready to die of mere fright, but
keeping up a good countenance all the time.

Here is the secret--pay attention, it is worth much money--if ever you
get into any desperate battle or skirmish, and feel in such a state of
mortal fear that you almost wish to be shot to get rid of it, just say
to yourself--"If I am so preciously frightened, what must the other
fellow be?" The thought will refresh you; your own self-esteem will
answer that, of course, the enemy is more frightened than you are,
consequently the nearer you feel to running away the more reason you
have to stand. Look at the last gazette of the last victory, where
thousands of men at one shilling _per diem_, minus certain very serious
deductions, "covered themselves with glory." The thing is clear: the
other fellows ran first; and that is all about it! My secret is a very
good secret; but one must of course do the thing properly: no matter of
what kind the danger is, you must look it boldly in the face and keep
your wits about you, and the more frightened you get the more
determined you must be--to keep up appearances--and half the danger is
gone at once. So now, having corrected myself, as well as given some
valuable advice, I shall start again for the shore, by saying that I
plucked up a very good appearance of courage and got on board the boat.

For the honour and glory of the British nation, of which I considered
myself in some degree a representative on this momentous occasion, I
had dressed myself in one of my best suits. My frock-coat was, I fancy,
"the thing;" my waistcoat was the result of much and deep thought, in
cut, colour, and material; I may venture to affirm that the like had
not been often seen in the southern hemisphere. My tailor has, as I
hear, long since realized a fortune and retired, in consequence of the
enlightenment he at different times received from me on the great
principles of, not clothing, but embellishing the human subject. My hat
looked down criticism, and my whole turn-out was such as I calculated
would "astonish the natives," and create awe and respect for myself
individually and the British nation in general; of whom I thought fit
to consider myself no bad sample.

Here I will take occasion to remark that some att