"Weinpusslacher," said Rutgers, irascibly, "who is your lawyer and
what's his address?"

C. Weinpusslacher's little pig-eyes gleamed apprehensively.

"For why you wish to know?" he said.

"Don't ask _me_ questions. Isn't he your friend?"

"Sure."

"Is he smart?"

"Smart?" C. Weinpusslacher laughed now, fatly. "He's too smart for
_you_, all right. He's Max Ondemacher, 397 Bowery. I guess if you--"

"All right. I'm going to bring him to lunch here."

"He wouldn't lunch here. He's got money," said C. Weinpusslacher,
proudly.

"He will come." Rutgers looked, in a frozen way, at Caspar
Weinpusslacher, and continued, icily: "I am the secretary and treasurer
of the _National_ Street Advertising Men's Association. If I told you I
wanted _you_ to give _me_ money you'd believe me. But if I told you _I_
wanted to give _you_ money, you wouldn't. So I am going to let your own
lawyer tell you to do as I say. I'll make you rich--for nothing!"

And Hendrik Rutgers walked calmly out of the Colossal Restaurant,
leaving in the eyes of C. Weinpusslacher astonishment, in the mind
respect, and in the heart vague hope.

This is the now historic document which Hendrik Rutgers dictated in Max
Onthemaker's office:

Hendrik Rutgers, secretary and treasurer of the National
Street Advertising Men's Association, agrees to make Caspar
Weinpusslacher's Colossal Restaurant famous by means of
articles in the leading newspapers in New York City. For
these services Hendrik Rutgers shall receive from said
Caspar Weinpusslacher, proprietor of said Colossal
Restaurant, one-tenth (1/10) of the advertising value of
such newspaper notices--said value to be left to a jury
composed of the advertising managers of the _Ladies Home
Journal_, the Jewish _Daily Forward_, and the New York
_Evening Post_, and of Max Onthemaker and Hendrik Rutgers.
It is further stipulated that such compensation is to be
paid to Hendrik Rutgers, not in cash, but in tickets for
meals in said Colossal Restaurant, at thirty cents per
meal, said meal-tickets to be used by said Hendrik Rutgers
to secure still more desirable publicity by feeding
law-abiding, respectable poor people.

_Panem et circenses!_ He had made sure of the first! The public could
always be depended upon to furnish the second by being perfectly
natural.

M. Onthemaker accompanied H. Rutgers to the Colossal. He had