. R. smiled and turned to the Mayor.

"Your Honor, the man whom I will ask to vouch for my honesty and
intelligence after I have confidentially disclosed the word to him, is
the Cardinal Archbishop of New York. His word will be enough, I take
it."

The Mayor beamed and said, "Certainly, Mr. Rutgers." He made up his mind
then and there that H. R. must conduct his campaign for re-election.

"Even young Mr. Lubin, I take it, will not doubt the word of his
Eminence."

Lubin was no fool. "Mr. Rutgers," he said, earnestly, "we hate our
enemies, the capitalists. But we respect the only foes who are fighting
us as we are fighting capitalism with honest convictions and real ardor.
Of course, we think the Catholics--"

"Hold on, Lubin," said H. R., "that policeman's name is Flannery."

Lubin explained: "I was afraid you were going to give us a banker, Mr.
Rutgers."

"_Never!_" said H. R. so emphatically that Lubin extended his right
hand. They shook warmly.

A sound of applause came to their ears. The Mayor flushed with vexation.
It was premature, he thought. He was wrong. It was Grace Goodchild.

Andrew Barrett ran in excitedly.

"Did you hear it?" he asked his chief. "Say, she is smiling to beat the
band and the crowd is going crazy. Hear that?" And he began to dance a
jig.

H. R. seized him by the arm and said:

"In exactly two minutes I shall enter."

Andrew Barrett rushed away to tip on the _vox populi_.

"Gentlemen," said H. R. to the reporters, "you had better go in."

They obeyed him. They were escorted to their table on the stage. They
found there seven military bands that had volunteered their services and
also their own weapons.

In the background of the stage was a huge placard:

FIFTY THOUSAND PEOPLE CAN BE SERVED, FED, AND FIRED IN 6-3/4
MINUTES BY OUR SYSTEM!

S. A. S. A., Dept. T.
O. K.
H. R.,
_Sec._

At each reporter's place was a typewritten sheet containing intelligent
statistics of this stupendous charity.

The reporters saw in the arena long strings of tables, each six hundred
and eighteen feet long, and benches to match. Each guest was allowed
nineteen and one-half inches. The dishes were of water-proofed paper
stamped S. A. S. A. Above each table were aluminum-painted pipes with
faucets every ten seats for soup, milk, tea, and coffee.

"By keeping the tea, coffee, and soup in circulation wholesome warm
drinks are secured," read the official statement, "besides