the Fly.

If the girl with a white muslin dress and a picture hat has any troubles
in this world she has a wonderful skill in hiding her real feelings.

Somehow, those men who are all the time telling how well money talks,
never get well enough acquainted with it to speak with authority.

"De worst objection to de wortersmillion in Oklahomy," said a
Mississippi black man, "is de fact dat it gits ripe too late fer de
wheat harvest an' too yarly fer de cotton-pickin."

The average man grieves more when he runs out of chewing tobacco and the
nearest neighbor who uses the filthy weed is three miles away, than he
does when the mortgage takes the farm. Upon what little things doth
happiness depend!

A Busy Family.

Mam's at a function where you hold your breath;
Liz has got a feller, an' she's talkin' him to death;
Andy has the measles, Susie's nussin' Bill,
Pap is out fer office an' he's runnin' fit to kill;
Pont an' me are fishin', all the signs are right,
Fer the crick is up a-boomin' an' the big fish bite!

The Kingbolt Philosopher.

"Ive heerd tell," said Uncle Ezra Mudge, "thet every dog has his day.
But I'm jest as sartin thet he don't know he's a havin' of it when he
has it.

"Now, thar was Bill Smith. Bill was a high-up chap, made money, had a
rubber-tired buggy, four girls, and chawed terbacker thet cost a dollar
a pound. But he never knowed he was a havin' of his day ontell he went
busted on the Board of Trade. But now Bill knows it, and has knowed it
ever sence he went busted."

Don't Grumble.

What's the use to grumble, what's the use to fret,
'Cause the cotton's weedy and the days go wet?
'Tis the Lord that sorts the weather and the sun and rain to you,
And you needn't kick and holler 'cause he don't explain to you!
When it rains, don't get to mopin!
There's more sunny skies than clouds,
And if sorrows drop in singly, why, the pleasures come in crowds;
Black day or bright day, don't you fume and fret,
When the cotton's weedy and the days go wet!

A Troublesome Set.

"Dese hyar white folks am a troublesome set," said a Guthrie coon. "We
hab a great majority ob de city, but on 'lection day we nebber git ober
half the city council an 'de school board, and four drinks apiece. We am
a-talkin' of sendin' 'em back to Englan' whar dey belong ef dey don't do
better!"

A Little of Love.

I.

With a little